|i asked him why he didn't smile & he said, 'because i thought this was a gangsta pic!'|
+ i have been using the watercolor set jordan got me for christmas, and i seem to gravitate towards painting animals--elephants, deer, horses. which is weird because i am not an animal person. (i know that is an evil thing to say, i just am not really interested by animals, nor do i get attached.) however, i am particularly fond of that pink elk up there.
+ in an effort to be more relaxed and not so high strung, i wore sweats on saturday. all day. in public. this is a big deal because kayla does not do that. i like to look nice, & black jeans + blouse + flats is sort of my uniform. it stems from this idea that if i make myself do things that appear relaxed/not quite so polished, that eventually the idea will permeate my subconscious & i will have the ability to be a little more carefree. at first i was a little embarassed, showing up to a social event in tennis shoes + beanie. but by the end of the night, i pretty much stopped caring. so i think it's working..?
+ there has been a lot of love around our house these days. there are ebbs and flows in every relationship, and for the past few weeks, the love-meter has just been off the charts. it's a little overwhelming, & my wife heart constantly feels like it's just buzzing with energy. it's sometimes literally a little painful, how intense those feelings are, but i want to remember them. this depth of feeling reminds me of this quote, taken from my friend madi.
“To let ourselves be seen—deeply seen, vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee. To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror. To believe that we are enough. Because when we work from a place that says I’m enough, we stop screaming and start listening—we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
+ i read this article earlier this week & loved the simplicity of her words. i also realized that
i don’t have to be overly conservative, or conservative at all, because im mormon. i don’t have to be a “im so forward thinking and so original as i stare down at every one through my ‘smarter than you all’ glasses” liberal mormon either. i can be in the middle. i can have my own opinions but still put the church, god & his perfect understanding first. i can be forward thinking without kicking against the bricks just to be different. (believe it or not!) i can understand that an opinion existing just to be different is not a real opinion. and lastly, i can realize that holding a temple recommend, being worthy of those covenants, and trusting his perfect understanding should, and always will be, my number on priority. that said, although there is negativity & hate everywhere--there is so much good in the world today, too! i want to celebrate that.
+ after almost 13 years of living in different states (& sometimes different countries!) my sweet childhood friend danielle has finally moved to utah! i am thrilled that she is here--because i didn't grow up in 1 particular spot, danielle is the only friend that has seen it all--from cute little girl, to awkward teenager, to grown woman, and she still loves me. our friendship has transcended so many years, so much time apart, so much growing in different directions. but every time we get together it feels as if we were never apart. it is the BEST.
|danielle & i--disneyworld 2012|