yesterday at studio 5, we had our live summer show. over 100 people showed up and it was complete chaos. although i clocked a few miles in about an hour running around the set, (thank heavens i wore flats) it was incredible. like, 'oh my gosh im having the time of my life right now, for reals' incredible. the energy in tv is insane and perfect and addicting. i had to stop & pinch myself to check that this experience is real.
it's difficult to put what's happening inside of me into words, because i know not everyone feels the same about broadcasting, or anything, as i do. doing something your passionate about, it feels like like finding your place in the world, even if for just a moment. it is feeling completely satisfied with where you are, and what you're doing. it's this mixture of feeling so lucid and so alive, but there's this fire underneath the clarity. and it's a feeling i've gone a long time without. i thought maybe i wouldn't be receptive to it anymore, but i was dead wrong.
i wrote here about feeling lost concerning my career goals--and this internship has set me right back on the path i need to be on. it's been a long-awaited answer to my prayers, and it's been accompanied by relief in hordes. i've found my place again, and i could cry it feels so gosh darn good. i have washed away any doubt in my mind about what it is i want for my life, my career, my sphere of influence. this internship is not glamorous all the time, and it's a lot of intense work. but it's my work, you know? it's exactly what i should be doing. it's exactly what i want to be doing.
i feel motivated and excited about every mundane task i have to complete there--from answering emails to attending pre-taping meetings to making a social media calendar. i adore brooke, the host of the show--for being so smart and so outgoing, two personality traits that don't always come in the same package. i love simply being present during the taping of a show--the adrenaline that comes from news cameras, it is contagious.
i am so grateful to be a small part of an industry that influences every american, and in this case, influences it for good. i'm grateful that studio 5 has such a positive message that i get to contribute to. but most of all, i'm so grateful for this passion that i have. i cannot imagine life without it.