August 18, 2014

on having the craziest summer of my life.


i came across this quote the other day. i love inspirational ideas and beautiful words, but this one stopped me cold in my tracks. a giant finger seemed to jump off the screen and point right into my face. 

i've repeated this sentiment several times, but it still rings true: this summer has been insane. it's been crazy, irresponsible, psychotic. and it's been unfair amounts of fun. jordan and i traveled, we adventured, i had a glamorous summer internship with lots of photo-worthy moments, my girlfriends were always up for anything, and never were we wanting in the fun department. i had a blast, and from the outside, my life looked fabulous.

and really, it was.

but because my life was seemingly polished on the outside, i let my work on the inside slip a little. i forgot that working on myself as a person should take precedence over packing in as much summer fun as humanly possible. making memories is SO important to me, i cherish them more than anything else in this life. but it's become a little too important. am i becoming a kinder person? am i working on being a better wife? am i closer to christ? have i been a better friend? the answer is, sometimes. and sometimes isn't good enough.

last night, i tried to pack too many plans all tight into a few short hours. the night got wrecked by traffic and miscommunication and i was embarrassingly wrecked.  like, i seriously couldn't get over it and i went to bed feeling dismayed and cloudy. it was  ridiculous that something so trivial could upset me so much. this realization was the perfect springboard to my goal-setting attempt today.

if i was working off of a stronger foundation, i could handle worries and problems and setbacks with greater ease. 

so this is my goal, set in stone and published on the internet: to work on myself more. to be a little more introspective and to be actively working to make myself a stronger, more compassionate soul. to start working harder to become someone of character and class, so that when the trips and the adventures have morphed into school assignments and early bedtimes, that i can still fall asleep with a smile on my face and a feeling of contentment in my heart. 

 photo kaylasig_zps8b40f84e.jpg

4 comments:

  1. this is perfect. i couldn't agree more. so glad i read this today...perfect for starting off my week right!

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  2. i've felt this before too. sometimes my life gets so busy and I'm so caught up into doing things that I never actually do anything for myself. I get into a weird funk at those times. Like I want to just go for a drive, or read or go on adventure in the mountains just to take a breath and catch up to everything.

    xo.

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  3. Oh yes I have felt like this too. Sometimes it's easy to get too caught up in certain aspect of life and forget about others. Someday I will achieve balance! Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Man that quote truly does have a way of stopping you cold, doesn't it? A lot of times I do the same as you, I get so focused on the outside and how important it is to TRY and to WANT to make those memories, you know? But sometimes you truly have to get back to yourself and check in there. Memories are only memorable if you are fully present for them.

    To quote Ron Swanson, "Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing." The same goes for memories, I believe :) Thanks for sharing this, beautiful.

    Em
    Tightrope to the Sun

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