September 29, 2014

i believe in.

girwood, alaska

i believe eating dessert before dinner. i believe in cheesy, slap-stick humor. i believe that sugar cookies and fresh peaches can make you feel better about life. i believe in giving people second chances. also third and fourth and fifth chances, too. i believe that your life is a result of your attitude. i believe that everything is a choice. i believe in always being the bigger person.

i believe in rainy days and so so much, i believe in the power of books and reading. i believe in loving deeply and in a very complete way. i believe in impulsive decisions and spontaneity, but i also believe in working hard and making something of yourself. i believe that photographs can convey specific feelings.

i believe in mischief. i believe in breaking rules, but only sometimes. i believe in those moments where you feel total peace from the universe, and i believe that god grants us those moments the more we ask for them. i believe in silly dancing and big band music. i believe in 3 coats of mascara and i believe in jcrew. i believe in smothering people with kisses and squeezing their bums. 

i believe in to-do lists and planners. i believe in making goals. i believe in isolation and silence, but i also believe that big cities are where magic happens. i believe in all of the fresh flowers. i believe in christmas magic. i believe in throwing your head back when you laugh real hard, and i believe that loving someone, loving everyone, is the most noteworthy thing you can do with your life.

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September 24, 2014


1. making friends with provo wildlife. her - llama. him - teacup puppy. (but really, look how tiny!)

2. attended the most darling "favorite things" party in the most enchanted backyard. i am dying to throw one of my own.

3. date night one saturday - checking out chalk the block at riverwoods? my idea. playing ALL of the shooting games at nickelcade? jordan's idea. 

4. madi's boss has a season suite as usana amphitheater - so occasionally we get free dinner
+ free concert. this night happened to be drake v lil' wayne. oh you guys, so nasty. so, so nasty. so not fitting in. but it was possibly one of the most hilarious nights of my existence. (when people ask how it was i say, 'well, it was entertaining.')

5. we completed the world's largest scavenger hunt! it was a sweaty blast - running around like mad all around provo with about 20 thousand other people. we even got free t shirts!

6. jordan and i donning aforementioned free t shirts // an early birthday dinner at city creek with my bestie danielle. our birthdays are 4 days apart and all growing up we wanted to have a joint birthday party. this was the closest we got, but will make it happen next year!

7. selfies on our way to olive garden at 4pm. we were so hungry we could hardly even talk to each other on the drive over. um, when did we become 80 years old?

8. a few pictures from the real soccer game a few weeks ago! we're seriously considering season tickets for this upcoming season. those games are too fun!
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September 22, 2014

on turning 24.

twenty four years old - twenty. four. !!! i've officially entered "mid-twenties." and maybe i'll say this every birthday until i die, but shouldn't i have my life together by now?? i feel like i'm playing grown up, saying, "i'm 24 years old." i feel as though i'm looking up at who should be my "grown up self," waiting to grow into her shoes.

maybe this is one of those feelings that i need to approach with a "look at how far you've come, not how much farther you have to go," attitude. i'm reminded of a favorite quote:

“i am learning every day to allow the space between where i am and where i want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.

and i try to do that - to be motivated by the work i have to get done on myself, because those are the accomplishments that matter. sure, i'm not done with college and i don't have a baby and there's not an extensive amount of foreign travel under my belt. i still make a lot of the same mistakes that i did when i was 19 and i still feel insecure sometimes.

but really, things have fallen together quite perfectly for me and my life. i am happy. really, i am so happy.

and i've found that it's much easier for me to feel satisfied about where i am when i don't compare my life to anyone else's accomplishments. things work differently and very specifically for every one - and what is perfect for my life is just that, MY life. not someone else's. this mindset helps me be genuinely happy for others and the good things in their life - instead of holding on to a fraction of jealousy.

jordan's aunt wrote me a little tribute on facebook - and the first thing she wrote about me was that i am "graceful and elegant." i was so flattered (although i hardly consider myself either of those things) and that thought placed into my head the idea that maybe i am becoming the woman i want to become a lot faster than i give myself credit for.

i felt consistently overwhelmed with love the whole day -  it almost made me heart hurt, like it might explode right out of me! i was so grateful for the reminder that i am very loved by a lot of choice people.

jordan outdid himself again, which is miraculous considering he's right in the middle of investment banking networking and has been running himself ragged with 18 & 19 hour days the last few weeks.

i came home from work to surprise balloons, 24 krispy kremes for 24 years, (does he know me or what?) and the ukulele i've been begging for for months. as if that weren't enough, he then took me to dinner and watched clueless with me. clueless! and he even said he liked it! (but maybe he was just being nice, i'm not sure.) man, snatching that guy up will be my greatest accomplishment, even if i live to be 1,000. what a great day - and a million thanks for all the birthday wishes on this little blog, on instagram, through text message, etc etc. i have the most wonderful people to call mine.

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September 17, 2014

lots of celebrating going on over here.

the best part about celebrating 2 years was reminiscing about our perfect day. i will never, ever forget the moment we walked in to the sealing room together and saw all of the faces of our loved ones smiling up at us, bright and excited. i swear, i understood what heaven felt like in that moment. the rest of the day was a blur of nerves and happy tears and smiles - i could not stop smiling!

technically, our new york trip was our anniversary gift to each other. we celebrated again this last saturday with a nice dinner and an rsl game (we can't get enough of those lately!) then monday, the actual day, rolled around. i figured we'd grab in n out and exchange cards. but when i walked in the door from work, there was a giant bag on the table (accompanied by my favorite flowers i have ever received) and before even saying hi jordan commanded, "open it!" 

that guy. he consistently pulls out all the stops to give me what i want & make me feel loved. get this - he had gathered an array of items, each signifying a "first" for us. a can of frosting and cookie mix, because we made christmas cookies the night of our first kiss. hot chocolate mix, because we had gone to grab some for our first date. a ghiradelli bar, because we went to ghiradelli square about 17 times on our honeymoon. bubble gum, because our first trip together was to seattle, and the gum wall was our first stop, etc etc. (are we seeing a theme of sweets going on here? it's because jordan and dessert make up most of my happiness in this world.) is he the sweetest, or is he the sweetest? man alive, i love that guy!

the day after our anniversary is jordan's birthday, and - just like the last 2 years - i couldn't sleep beforehand because i had birthday jitters for him. seriously though, i'm a little ridiculous. i spent a few weeks gathering pictures of jordan's loved ones holding up different letters spelling out, happy birthday jordan, and made a poster out of it! (this was one of my best gift-giving moments, and i pride myself in that ability.) throughout the few weeks gathering pictures for the poster, i was just overwhelmed. every time i got a new email or text with the picture i had requested, my heart just swelled, and i even got emotional a few times. we have such incredible people in our life and are so lucky!

we celebrated the rest of the day with 24 balloons & 24 of the best things about jordan on them, chocolate cake from costco (because no birthday would be complete without it) pizza, cuddling, presents, and a 9/11 documentary at his request? weirdo, right? either way, i love this guy a million, and love celebrating him!

and now today is my birthday, so the party continues! holy crap, september, i could smooch you right on the face!

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September 15, 2014

going to the state fair & being in love.

on friday night we went to the state fair, after a considerable amount of begging on my part. (crowds and greasy food aren't jordan's scene, really.) we invited several friends, but nobody could make it - so we ended up going solo, just the two of us. 

we made a pit stop at the mall beforehand, and at one point i was doubled over inside of the gap, laughing so hard there was no actual noise coming out of my mouth. jordan is so hilarious when he is hyper! i revert into a 12-year old state where i literally can't stop laughing, and everything he does sends the giggles bubbling over. 

once we arrived, we shared a bowl of ice cream and paid 2 dollars to see the "giant, man-eating rat" which ended up being the most adorable capybara. so worth it. we held hands and told jokes and people watched and definitely made out at the top of the ferris wheel. 

i felt really aware the entire night, just aware of him and aware of who we are when we're together, nobody else. and ya know, i really like who we are when we just have each other to bounce off of. we have a killer dynamic going on - where we can be silly and serious all within the same minute. we're on the same wavelength, & sometimes i think we've even started to share it. 

and although we were surrounded by throngs of people, we were the only two that mattered that night. kind of like when you first start dating and that person is your sun, everything else revolves around them? i realized then, that's still how jordan is to me. everything else revolves around him. everything begins and ends with jordan. it was really reaffirmed that he is the only person i need to be happy - and although i have so many (so many!) wonderful people to call mine, he beats everyone out by a thousand points. i love my j baby and hanging out, just the two of us - that's my heaven. 

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September 10, 2014

like, are you kidding me? this place was insane.

alaska. let's see, where do i even start?

my girls picked me up from the airport and we all squealed and screamed as we were reunited. they gifted me a carhart beanie so we could all match, and we squealed some more.

we made friends everywhere we went, i ate a bacon jam burger and bacon blue cheese and both were game changers. we kayaked in resurrection bay, where we saw a porpoise + a sea lion. we walked black beaches and took too many pictures, if there is such a thing.

we had a lot of deep talks during car rides. we used the phrase "on a scale from blank to blank...this is blank" way too often. i met a reindeer named star. we hiked to a glacier and i learned how to skip rocks in the runoff. we watched beluga whales migrate, which was one of the more extraordinary experiences of my life. 

we took a glacier cruise & froze our bums right off, we went to the anchorage temple. we rode a hand tram, we danced to a lot of beyonce music videos.  we failed at making a fire + had to recruit a stranger to help. (he was heaven sent!) we cuddled inside our freezing tent and laughed until tears streamed on to our pillows. 

we stayed in the sketchiest, smelliest motel i've ever experienced. (we're talking mysterious stains on the sheets and holes in the walls.) we went dancing on saturday night. we caught fish bare-handed. we shed tears when we had to seperate.

i basked in the constant laughter, and tried to truly appreciate the magnitude of the blessing of good friends.

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September 8, 2014

2 years.


i was thinking the other day about how blessed i am to have the privilege of loving you, the privilege of helping you become the man that god wants you to be. i don't know if any blessing could ever compare to the blessing of marrying a man who puts god first, a man who honors his priesthood, a man who takes the role of husband seriously.

it is an honor to be your wife and share this life with you. i cannot wait to see what we will accomplish here, as well as in eternity! you are my very best friend, & you are my world. i love you more now than i knew i was capable of.

happy 2 years, stastny! here's to a thousand more with you by my side. dream team forever.

"because of you, i can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me i have always dreamed of being." -tyler knot gregson

photos: mila adams.

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