September 3, 2014

in which i go to alaska with my girlfriends.




i love making new friends and am constantly on the search for more personalities to enrich my life - but i am so grateful that i have these girls to fall back on.  they make me feel like i am succeeding in becoming that person i am striving to be. and i hope to do the same for them. it's interesting how our differences in personality seem to compliment one another so flawlessly. the 4 of us, we're a great combo. 

this earth is so stunning - and the more varying scenery i see, the more i am convinced i need to see it all. alaska is incredibly...majestic is the only word that seems fit. it's a little overwhelming, how large scale and powerful the world seems out there. i am thankful i got to experience it. also thankful i went in the warmest month possible. (and it will still. so. cold.)

i am also feeling especially thankful for a husband who lets me be my own person - the kind of guy that says alaska with the girls? i don't want you to miss that, you should go! instead of, you're leaving me to spend our money on yourself? i was so giddy to be reunited with him, i seriously almost peed myself upon landing. oh, i missed that boy. being reunited with him after time spent apart is, quite possibly, the greatest high i get in life. it's glorious.

we got talking later that night about having our independence, and how that's benefited us, both as individuals and as a partnership. i feel very strongly that marriage is better served when you support each other in conquering the world, rather than receding into your own little world. balance is so important - and being a wife to my sweet husband will always come number one, but i need more than simply that to become who i need to be. i see so many girls get hitched and then just disappear into "married life" where they lose touch with friends, lose a lot of their motivation to really go after their dreams, and develop a relationship with netflix. and really, they stop caring about their other relationships because they just have room for one person: husband. and to me, this isn't healthy.

jordan and i have found that allowing each other a little wiggle room (ie, taking trips with friends, joining clubs, letting differing opinions be ok) helps us respect each other as individuals. and then that respect turns into a deeper, more lasting, love and admiration for one another. 

i'm glad that jordan lets me have my girlfriends, that he encourages me to work long hours in pursuit of my dreams, that i'm not just his "wife" but rather, i'm kayla - a girl with a lot of ambition and a life plan. he helps push me to achieve, rather than being my crutch. and consequently, i can bring so much more to the table for him as his wife, when i am fulfilled as an individual. it's an upward cycle! 

i don't believe in separate lives, and at the end of the day, i actually am fairly obsessive about my boy. but i really feel that our lives have achieved this fabulous balance by allowing one another to be themselves and not be totally defined by marriage. 

i am a wife, and it is such a wonderful "hat" or "role" that i am suuuper proud of. but i wear a lot of other hats too - and that makes for a well rounded, satisfying life. although jordan fulfills so many of my needs, he is only human. he can't do it all - and by finding fulfillment in my own successes, my own hard work, my own friendships and personality, i appreciate the myriad of things he provides for me so much more. so...basically this is a horribly long-winded way of saying that i am grateful for this girls trip & grateful for a husband who let me take it. my girlfriends and husband are so great. the end. 

 photo kaylasig_zps8b40f84e.jpg

10 comments:

  1. wow, alaska looks amazing. I have always wanted to visit! I loved and agreed with every word of this. I think some level of independence from each other is so so so important. I never understood the archetype of the wife angry at her husband for having his friends over to play video games. it makes me so happy when my husband has "bro time"! just like he wants me to have "girl time". Also I'm visiting Florida and going to Disney World with a few of my best girl friends this month, and I was so grateful that he was on board with wanting me to go. anyway, a hearty "amen" to this post.

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  2. You're the cutest and I have to say is well.said!

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  3. I LOVED WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY KAYLA!! I feel like i had to learn that lesson. I was the girl that when I got married, I disappeared. I honestly just wanted to focus on my marriage and making it better and better. I ran out of time to focus on the other things that made me, me. I refocused and am no able to say that I am doing better. I still love my netflix, and my nights with my husband only, but it is great to say that I am pursuing dreams and working hard at where I want to get- despite my title of being a wife- and hopefully a freakin good one at that!!

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    1. celeste, thanks for your comment! it's a process - that's for sure! and the balance for every couple is different. i'm glad that you still are motivated to go after the things you love still! you are the greatest! xoxo

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  4. PREACH. you nailed it right on the head - people need to still be themselves despite their marital status. the way i like to think of it is that i'm still the same person with the same interests and goals, except that now my priorities are slightly rearranged now that i am a married lady. but yes to everything you wrote.
    also, ALASKA?! that is amazing. what a cool trip!!

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  5. love this. I never did understand people who say "once you're married you just fall of the face of the Earth". It's so sad to me that to some, marriage is considered an end point, as if once you get married 'you've done it all' and there is nothing else to achieve. I love being able to grow as individuals and as a couple. We absolutely adore going out with old friends and going out of our way to make friends. Because by doing that we're able to learn not only from each other but from all of our friends. And we try to give each other time to spend with other people and not just with each other. I joke with my husband all the time by saying he needs to find a hobby, because I have so many and I love doing them and working on myself.

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    1. you DO have so many hobbies and talents! i'm so glad there are women out there like you, staying busy and working on themselves, regardless of marital status. xoxo

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  6. This is fantastic! I just got back from a girls trip to Disneyland and meanwhile my husband went dirtbiking with friends, and we've done this each year we've been married. Individual time is important. It gives you time to both breathe. Plus when you get back you missed each other so much and it's good to be reunited!!

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    1. ah, isn't being reunited the greatest?! i totally agree! how fun you got to do disneyland with your girls - maybe that'll be our next trip :)

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  7. a big hands up for this post. first of all, Alaska is a major fave of mine, it's hard to put it into words, but majestic is a great start. second, i totally agree about knowing yourself. Good for you for taking a trip with your girlies! Looked like a bunch of fun!

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