|oh, and happy halloween week ^^^|
+ of all the cities in the united states, new york is my very favorite. my next favorite would be san francisco, and then probably dc. but if i were writing out this list on college ruled paper, there would be like 20 lines between 1. new york and 2. san fran. then only 1 or 2 lines between san fran & dc. new york is my favorite city by a very large margin, for several reasons - one of them being the fact that there are a myriad of opportunities there. for every 1 broadcasting internship in san fran or chicago, there are 3 in new york. the today show is there, nbc headquarters, dozens of random online news stations that would serve as backup if i couldn't swing big-time summer work. i have tons of contacts in new york, but not a single one in san fran. (not to mention, that new york energy, that food, those sounds, that i crave every single day of my life.)
+ jordan applied for all new york internships, save for one or two in san fran - just because there were a few opportunities there that were too good to ignore. citi bank called him almost immediately. he interviewed in san francisco a few weeks ago and fell in love with the office, his co-workers, the projects, everything. it fit him perfectly. he kept networking in new york, but in the end - citi is hiring before any of the new york offices, and turning it down would taint him. and it would be really unwise - given as there is no guarantee of another offer.
+ this job is ideal - he will be working on deals in the tech industry, the exit opportunities are exactly what he wants, the pay is 3 times what we would make in nyc - it's all picture perfect for him, except that he's married to me and new york makes more sense for me and my career. you guys, this whole situation has been the heartbreak of the century for me. i know that it's selfish and ungrateful of me to feel sad about this opportunity afforded my husband - but if you could step through my ear, into my head for one second and understand to what magnitude these opportunities and that city mean to me, you would understand. this situation deserves legitimate grief on my end. i know that in the end, jordan's career takes precedent over mine - he's going to be making the money, i'll be having kids at some point, blah blah. but right now? this is my life, this is the most important thing to me - and i won't just lay over and give up everything that i've been dreaming of since i was 4 years old.
+ we have talked about being a bi-coastal couple for the summer, if i am able to snag an internship in ny worthy of such a sacrifice. i am not married to that idea - however, all suckiness aside, i think i could do it. i am really hoping that i can find something that keeps us in the same city & challenges me in the ways i need to be challenged. but who knows.
+ in the end, i just feel an underlying sense of peace about all of this. (i have to sift through a lot of anxiety to find the peace, but it's there.) heavenly father knows how many tears i have already shed over this mess, he knows how important these next few years are to me, and although we have to navigate this difficulty right now - i know it will all work out the way that it's supposed to - east coast or west coast. and hey, san fran is a pretty magical place to have to live, don't you think?