hi, we have some big news.

oh, and happy halloween week ^^^

+ jordan sold his soul to the investment banking recruitment process a few months ago. he worked his cute little butt off & received an offer from citi bank in san francisco on monday, which he accepted. he is one of the first guys from byu to receive any offer from any bank. you see, he's a very impressive individual. i should be ecstatic, and a big part of me is (a big part!) - but there's a little damper on this situation.

+ of all the cities in the united states, new york is my very favorite. my next favorite would be san francisco, and then probably dc. but if i were writing out this list on college ruled paper, there would be like 20 lines between 1. new york and 2. san fran. then only 1 or 2 lines between san fran & dc. new york is my favorite city by a very large margin, for  several reasons - one of them being the fact that there are a myriad of opportunities there. for every 1 broadcasting internship in san fran or chicago, there are 3 in new york. the today show is there, nbc headquarters, dozens of random online news stations that would serve as backup if i couldn't swing big-time summer work. i have tons of contacts in new york, but not a single one in san fran. (not to mention, that new york energy, that food, those sounds, that i crave every single day of my life.)

+ jordan applied for all new york internships, save for one or two in san fran - just because there were a few opportunities there that were too good to ignore. citi bank called him almost immediately. he interviewed in san francisco a few weeks ago and fell in love with the office, his co-workers, the projects, everything. it fit him perfectly. he kept networking in new york, but in the end - citi is hiring before any of the new york offices, and turning it down would taint him. and it would be really unwise - given as there is no guarantee of another offer. 

+ this job is ideal - he will be working on deals in the tech industry, the exit opportunities are exactly what he wants, the pay is 3 times what we would make in nyc - it's all picture perfect for him, except that he's married to me and new york makes more sense for me and my career. you guys, this whole situation has been the heartbreak of the century for me. i know that it's selfish and ungrateful of me to feel sad about this opportunity afforded my husband - but if you could step through my ear, into my head for one second and understand to what magnitude these opportunities and that city mean to me, you would understand. this situation deserves legitimate grief on my end. i know that in the end, jordan's career takes precedent over mine - he's going to be making the money, i'll be having kids at some point, blah blah. but right now? this is my life, this is the most important thing to me - and i won't just lay over and give up everything that i've been dreaming of since i was 4 years old. 

+ we have talked about being a bi-coastal couple for the summer, if i am able to snag an internship in ny worthy of such a sacrifice. i am not married to that idea - however, all suckiness aside, i think i could do it. i am really hoping that i can find something that keeps us in the same city & challenges me in the ways i need to be challenged. but who knows.

+ in the end, i just feel an underlying sense of peace about all of this. (i have to sift through a lot of anxiety to find the peace, but it's there.)  heavenly father knows how many tears i have already shed over this mess, he knows how important these next few years are to me, and although we have to navigate this difficulty right now - i know it will all work out the way that it's supposed to - east coast or west coast. and hey, san fran is a pretty magical place to have to live, don't you think?

Comments

  1. you will loooove san francisco! I absolutely love it there! I'm sorry it isn't all ideal--what will happen if he receives an offer from NY? Will he just keep the one in SF? I'm sure heavenly father has a bigger plan, and it will all make sense looking back! xoxo

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  2. kayla! as cool as it is that you could be in san francisco with me, I'm so sorry about this situation and I totally totally understand what you're going through. I'm glad you were able to find peace and I admire you for being able to make that hard decision. but also, you have every right to be bummed about it right now. also, you mentioned that your husband's career takes precedent over yours -- and yes, maybe this opportunity in particular is more important than your desire to move to NYC -- BUT, please know that your career is important too! lots of people, especially here in utah, almost believe that wives shouldn't even bother having a career because they're just gonna be stay-at-home moms anyway. don't let that culture get to you! like, when I tell people that we are moving to san francisco, their first response is to ask if my husband has a job there. (not saying I'm offended by that at all, it's just kinda funny.) anyway, I guess my point is -- if you have an amazing opportunity to do exactly what you want at some point in the future, you shouldn't be afraid to go for it! doing the long-distance marriage thing would definitely suck, but I think it's a good thing you're at least considering it. best wishes to you and your husband! everything will work out. (but I think you already know that.)

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    1. leah, i am so glad i will have you in sf, real life! also, thank you for your thoughts - they were honestly helpful and comforting to me. i gave up a mission/arizona state to get married to jordan, & although i'd make that same decision a thousand times, sometimes i think WHY do i have to give up even more? my career is very important to me, and it always have been - but it's hard to balance that with our ultimate goal - for jord to make good money and raise a family. thank you for your encouragement though (and you are a great example of just going for it!) also, LOL at people thinking you would only move for the husband's job. NOOBS. xo

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  3. Okay not to totally disregard your thoughts/feelings.. but I'm sitting in Rexburg, Idaho right now. Population? 15,000. Restaurant choices? About 10. SAN FRAN SOUND DREAMY right about now. I know new york would've been your first choice.. because let's be honest NYC is bomb.. but you are going to fall in love with San Fran and it will love you right back. Plus now i have an excuse to come visit you. ;) ha!

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    1. haha madeline thanks for this perspective changer. i should be grateful - SF is a really amazing place, but i won't be able to appreciate it until i move on from my NY expectations. (and you'll be moving away to med school in no time!) and yes, show up on our doorstep anytime, we'll have you!

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  4. is it possible to do an internship in ny next summer? idk where you school is at, but maybe that could work? if not, after jordan gets some experience in san fran you two could always move to ny! prob not on your same level, but i feel ya on nyc. i got through high school telling myself i would go to college elsewhere. then i got through college telling myself i would move to ny for grad school... and now i'm almost graduate and have to wait for jake haha. i think more than the idea of going to grad school in ny, i like the idea of LIVING IN NY. idk if that's how it is for you or if the opportunities there really are better than elsewhere, but you can always live there later! also, jake alway tells me that columbia may be the best school for my program, but in the end i will still be a social worker and it won't really matter what internships or grad school i went to. (he thinks networking is everything). anyways, idk if that helps you at all, but it's super hard for me to not give advice to people hahahaha. so, if all else fails EAT AND WATCH TV. ALWAYS. (also, you're getting out of utah so celebrate that! so jealous of you :))
    xoxo
    e
    emmyjake

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    1. i guess that is possible, emily. i was just hoping to have a "job job" by then - but who knows how it will work out. and I LOVE ADVICE, keep it comin! i really feel like we will look back on this & see it all as a blessing, but it's hard to see that right now, haha! also, columbia for grad school sounds like a dream - that campus is honestly amazing, it would be like a fairy tale going to school there. anyway, YES about pizza and tv. honestly, that's how i've been coping with all of this.

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  5. First of all, congratulations to your husband! My husband has some investment banker friends, and that's big stuff right there. Second of all, I really am sorry about NY. It's kind of sucky as a wife to have to put your career preferences on the back-burner for who-knows-how-long to follow your husband around, even if it is for the "greater good" (this coming from the girl who followed her husband to a foreign country where Americans aren't even allowed to internship or work. I am SO lucky I found that online editing loophole.) When we were applying for medical schools, we hoped to end up near a city where I could pick up some career opportunities in the publishing world. Even if we wound up in a small town, I was excited to find a big-girl editing job and help keep the med school debts somewhat at bay. NOPE. We had our plan A, and then a few plan B's. We wound up going with plan D. Is Grenada where we wanted to go? No. Was it second place? No. But shoot, if I haven't seen how this difficult place is changing us for the better. I know this doesn't help right now, but in time you'll know why it's San Fran for now instead of NY. Best of luck figuring this out!

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    1. thank you for your thoughts, laura! i'm sure this will all work out for the best, in the long run - but in the meantime navigating this time period is a little difficult. but i appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me, and i love reading abobut your adventures in grenada :)

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  6. I've never been to NYC before but I'm telling you San Francisco is the best! Sending positive vibes and good luck your way!!
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

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  7. So this situation isn't entirely the same as yours but it reminds me a lot of something Nathan and I recently went through! So for the past two years Nathan has been going to school every single semester (summers included!) just trying to get all these pre-requisites finished in time to apply to the Occupational Therapy program he wanted to get into but because of some really lame circumstances he wasn't able to apply when we wanted him to and it pretty much was devastating because it set our 'five year plan' (haha) back two whole years! At first I was totally devastated because - hey, we had a plan. We had dreams and we had set goals and it just wasn't going to work any other way! I was so disappointed because I felt like we weren't going anywhere and we weren't going to be able to do what we had originally planned. So I was being my bummer self when my mom said something that totally changed my perspective - she said, 'Hannah, maybe this is a blessing in disguise and you just don't know it yet.' And you know what, three months later I can totally see what she was saying! And while yes, it was not what we had planned for, and it wasn't really the situation we wanted, it has ended up working for the better, and it was honestly what needed to happen. So take heart! Things will work out as they should, and Heavenly Father knows you and your wants, desires and dreams. Maybe this is just a blessing in disguise? Who knows.

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    1. hannah - thank you for your thoughts. really, i am so touched that you spent the time to share your experience with me. and i LOVE that thought - i hope this is a blessing in disguise! ;)

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  8. Kayla, I am so sad you and Jordan won't be out here with us. Clark and I were FURIOUS when we found out Jordan was not given an offer, especially cause he was the candidate Clark fought the most for.

    That being said, I guess everything happens for a reason, and even though I'm hating the outcome, I know this internship will be the best possible opportunity for you and Jordan and your future. Who knows what Heavenly Father has in store for you!? And you two are so amazing, I know you can make an east coast/west coast summer work or anything else for that matter.

    I'm praying for you guys! Love you!

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  9. Hey Kayla! Congratulations to your husband on this new opportunity!!! I am in Nashville, and my bf got a job year the Bay area last November (I know it's not the same since you are married...but still a long distance struggle lol) so I know that being bi-coastal is not ideal...however, I have a strong feeling you will fall in LOVE with San Francisco! I have visited 4 times over the last year and it is a beautiful, magical city! I am praying that you will see the blessings that I know are coming your way!!!

    http://www.MissKayElle.com

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  10. oh my goodness, i can't image how hard that is, kay! i love you and i'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! everything will work out-especially since it's such an amazing opportunity for jordan, i know something will come your way too! i will miss you IMMENSELY when you go away :( come back for the boys' first birthday?? love you!

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  11. congrats to your husband! but ugh on the situation. this stuff is HARD. we (not hubs and i) are kind of sort of dealing with this same thing. he has offers but isn't feeling right about them, i want to move away to somewhere fabulous but made the decision to accept something long term (at least two years) here. blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda, making grown up decisions sucks. but it will all work out! right? (right?!)

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  12. UM you know what i think!!!! :)
    email me soon, but either way this is so exciting!!

    xo welltraveledwife.com

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