here is the ring jordan proposed to me with. isn't she a beaut? i picked it out ages ago, before i even knew jordan existed, on sundance catalog dot com and never looked back. when he opened the box & flashed that ring at me, i was literally speechless. like, i didn't say anything for an awkward amount of time. i mean, obviously the whole point of the night was committing to spend eternity with my best friend - but you guys, that bling. when it catches the sunlight on a bright day, it parades this perfectly golden-white color, and on cloudy days, it's a stormy blue-silver.
i never wear it to the gym because i can't stand the thought of banging it on the weights, i never shower with it, because it clouds the stone, and i have three spots in our apartment where it is allowed to rest. you can imagine my disdain when i lost it a few months ago. at first i thought i had simply misplaced it, but after a week and a complete overhaul of the apartment, panic started to creep in. even thinking about it now, it kind of feels like someone is pouring black ink all over my heart. you guys, i love that piece of jewelry.
at first, i wore my tiny gold band with a mini "j" attached to the front as a replacement. then i experimented with a few cheap-ring stack situations.
finally, last month i broke down and bought a real-life replacement from the same website my original ring came from. (we can't afford to replace the actual ring, although i do gawk at it from time to time on the website. isn't it perfect?) it was like a fresh heartbreak in the form of a manila envelope. i always thought those mini boxes made me happy, but this one was bittersweet.
although i still am holding on to hope that the ring will manifest itself again, (seriously, i know where i set it down the day i lost it. i don't know how that happens??) i guess there is one silver lining of this situation. well, two. a) although jordan is heartbroken along with me, never once has he acted annoyed or even disappointed that i misplaced the most expensive item he's ever purchased. that right there is a quality individual. and b) i am grateful for the reminder that our relationship doesn't ride on anything physically tangible. i love jordan the same and i sincerely love marriage - even without the bling. although, prayers to find it would still be appreciated. ok great. xo