May 31, 2015

big sur.

we woke up early one morning this week and drove south a little bit to big sur. we spent the day hiking, climbing, exploring, stopping off at every turn off and filling up our camera memory card.

i've heard a lot of people say that the biggest perk to living in san francisco is how accessible nature is. drive north, you're in the vineyards. drive south, you're in the mountains and on the beach. i loved being able to experience something so different from the city, and only a 2 hour drive south. prepare yourself -THIS PLACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT'S DISGUSTING - but i'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

May 22, 2015

thoughts on san fran so far.

+ so the last few weeks have been complete and utter madness for the stastny family. a few weeks ago - we packed up our furniture into storage, our clothes into boxes, and our immediate needs into a suitcase. we moved in with friends for a few days, i finished my last day of work, then we moved in with jordan's grandparents, then we  drove to boise and visited our parents for a week, then drove to the bay, stayed with the parents of some friends, found an apartment in about 48 hours, and moved in here. moving from one place to another was so fun, but being able to hang up clothes and have some time to ourselves has been a breath of fresh air.

+ neither of us start work for 10 more days and so we are having us time - to explore, to play, to learn about our new city. and i am not kidding when i say that the past three days have been a DREAM. i can't remember a time in my life where i've had so much fun and so little stress. and so much undivided attention from my husband!  it's so good that i'm starting to get stressed about it. this will end eventually, sleeping in and then going for a run and spending the rest of the day wandering the neighborhoods. it will end and i'm concerned that my life will never reach this high quality again. that being said, part of me is excited for us both to dig into work and learn a lot - since we can't just play forever. a few other scattered thoughts from san francisco so far:

+ our apartment. our apartment! we live on the second floor of a complex in the marina district - smack dab between the palace of fine arts and ghirdhelli. (soooo dangerous for this girl.) it is in a suuuper safe neighborhood and across the street from a safeway - and the distance from the safeway parking lot to our apartment is a great deal shorter than if i parked in the back of a wal mart parking lot in utah.  so that's nice. it is full of giant windows that let in this gorgeous, thick, bright light and furnished in stuff i would legit pick myself. it smells good and clean and there is gorgeous artwork and a pool and a gym and there are mirrors everywhere. (maybe the mirrors will help me keep the chocolate eating at bay? who knows.) the only problem is that it came accessorized with white towels and pillow and sheets and how does one keep these items white? 

+ i am still getting used to the constant noise, even with the windows shut, and still getting used to the language. good grief san francisco, get it together! i thought i was used to foul mouths, since i worked with quite a few of them - but they were nothin compared to this! i know i'm just a little white mormon girl who has lived in utah for too long, but every conversation we have heard outside our window has contained more expletives than i heard collectively during my 2 years in provo and salt lake.

+ the people of san francisco LOVE steph curry and their warriors. he's a pretty loveable guy, but they are obsessed. we watched game 1 at a sports bar and the energy there was electric.

+ a little more on our neighborhood: it is the BOMB DOT FREAKIN COM. the first morning we were here, we woke up from the sunlight streaming in the windows (side note: isn't that the most amazing way to wake up? i don't know if it's because of your rem cycles or what not, but waking up naturally to the sunlight is the best way to start a day) and then walked/jogged to the base of the bridge - which is about 5 miles round trip for us. the marina neighborhoods are DARLING! it's kinda new orleans-ish, kinda pirates of the caribbean-ey, i don't really know how to explain it. walking along the marina feels like you're in another world. we are also within a block of a barre studio (dreams!) starbucks, 2 parks, and tons of restaurants.

+ also everyone in our neighborhood (but only in the marina, not in other neighborhoods) is SO fit and SO attractive. half the people are in yoga pants carrying mats, there are runners everywhere, it's like bizzaro-world for hotties. is that the weirdest?? we definitely need to step it up if we're gonna hang with these kids.

+ i heard a few scattered warnings from people who had lived in the bay that people here were "kinda snobby" and "not as nice as utahns." i know i can't properly judge these statements quite yet, but everyone (with the exception of tour bus drivers. darn them!) has been SO sweet. from the cashier at walgreens, to our landlord, to the stranger trying on shoes next to us at macy's, the people here have been a delight. 

+ a few nights ago we found a little deli on russian hill that's located in the back of a bodega - and not to sound like chris traeger, but it was LIT-RALLY the best sandwich i have ever had. like we sat there staring at each other for a few seconds after the first bite, each with a little bit of avocado spread smeared on our faces. we walked with a bit of spring in our step the rest of the night - our first legit, local, "this belongs to us" discovery and we were so proud of ourselves. little by little, we will make this place ours and i love that idea.

May 5, 2015

because i have great news and i'm feeling super lucky.

last fall, we found out jordan would be doing his summer internship in san fran - instead of new york like we had planned. it just kind of happened that way - he got a summer position with citi group before he really even interviewed for a lot of positions in new york, investment banks give exploding offers (in which you have 24-48 hours to make a decision or the offer becomes invalid) and it just would have been stupid to turn it down, for lack of a better term.

i thought about pursuing internships in new york, and actually, for a few months i did - but one day jordan sat me down and asked me, plain and simple, if i would move to san fran with him. i felt a lot of clarity in that moment, that going to california with him should superseded anything that would benefit my career. that being a support to him should be my priority. i said yes (which, if you know me, was a hard pill to swallow) and have never really looked back. 

i reached out to everyone i knew in broadcasting and asked them for contacts in san fran. i got a few hook ups, and one night in march, i came out of a spin class to a voicemail from abc7. i was recommended from an old new director! they loved my resume! abc7 is the top ranked news station in san fran! i would be getting newsroom experience! i totally clicked with the executive producer! ah. i was on cloud 9 for like, weeks after the fact. this internship was was reward for choosing to be a supportive wife over new york, or so i thought. i already imagined getting the call telling me i had the job, and how i would break the exciting news to my family. (at this point in the story i like to retroactively tell myself, "not so fast, kayla clark.")

i made contact a few weeks later, and then..... radio silence. for two weeks. then two more weeks. then three more weeks. i reached out by email, but again. silence. guys, "i was crushed" is the biggest understatement. i was wrecked. this was it - the job i wanted, and they seemed to want me? but then they couldn't even call me and tell me that i didn't get it? i was totally qualified and recommended, did i do something wrong? i started scrambling for something else, anything else available to me. i interviewed at a few other news stations, and continued to play the waiting game. at this point, it was april and most positions had been filled. i started to regret dropping all of my nyc dreams. i started to question if i was pursuing a dream that was going to end up being dead for me. i was under the impression that everything had clicked into place for me, and then i watched it all be snatched away.

i spent a lot of time on my knees, at the temple, and having bona-fide meltdowns to friends who were willing to listen. i tried to make sense of it - was there something else i was supposed to do this summer? was i barking up the wrong tree? this is a serious LOL moment now, but i wondered if i was going to accidentally get pregnant this summer and that was the reason i couldn't take on a hefty internship. my dad is ill right now, and so i wondered if i was supposed to focus on him and that's why i wasn't getting an internship? maybe i was just supposed to get a good paying job instead to save up money for some unforeseen expense? my mind grasped to make any sense out of my situation. it was a rough couple of weeks, and although i tried to cope with my changing plans, there were a lot of "cry myself tired" nights. poor jordan was beside himself trying to make me feel better.

in the midst of my freak-outs, i kept thinking of a story that tina fey tells in her book "bossypants." (i have listened to/read this book 4 times and it is the greatest. read it immediately.) she remembers her mom babysitting two little greek kids while their parents were at a wedding. they had never been separated from their parents before, so these kids just lost it. at one point, the little boy, who was about 3 years old, started shouting in greek to his sobbing sister. roughly translated, he was yelling, "sister, what is to become of us??" and tiny fey's mom just started cracking up at this kid, pacing in circles, freaking out, when his parents were going to come pick him up in like an hour and everything was just fine. tiny fey talks about how when you freak out, that's how you look to other people. kind of ridiculous, because everything is going to be just fine. i imagine that god gets at least a sliver of humor from watching me sweat it out, very dramatically, down here on earth when my plan starts to get shaken up. anyway.

then last week, after almost 2 months of no contact, i got an email from abc's executive producer. they had been re-vamping their internship program so they were re-organizing everything, they were still interested, and could i possibly be available for a may 27th start date? man i was jolted. i wandered around campus with a wide eyed stare for about ten minutes until the news started to sink in. i tried not to get my hopes up, but it wasn't entirely effective. 

long story short, I GOT THE INTERNSHIP! while camping, we came into st george for gas, got service, and ping! my little voicemail dot showed up. it was the executive producer telling me that she had "very exciting news for me." i screamed and punched jordan a few times while our friends congratulated me over and over. it was quite the morning.

i hashed out a few details with the station when we returned from southern utah, and what?? the internship is paid, and paid a lot? i get to be on camera sometimes? no coffee runs? my office is literally 500 feet from jordan's? flexible hours? THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. i had a lot of friends say, "i knew this would happen, i'm not surprised at all." well, I WAS SURPRISED! and i'm so glad that i thought i wasn't going to get the position, because it made getting it 10X BETTER. i still can't even believe it. i landed my dream internship. in san francisco. i'm going to live there, and walk to work with my husband. WUT IS THIS LIFE?!! i 100% believe that i don't deserve for everything to have worked out as perfectly as it did, but i'm going to relish it anyway. i lucked out BIG TIME. i am still pinching myself and randomly shouting to jordan throughout the day, "i can't believe i got abc! is this real life??"

although i am still coming around on this aspect, i am feeling more and more grateful for those months of feeling so lost. i feel like i am learning how to accept things not going your way, to accept that maybe god has a different plan for your life than you wanted. and that's okay. i am learning that i need to turn to Him more, for everything. i am learning to root less of my persona and confidence in my career dreams, and root more of it in just being a good human and rolling with the punches. i am learning to be vulnerable to those around me and share my fears. and i am learning that it's all gonna work out anyway. ;)

and a completely unrelated photo because every post should have at least one picture. 

May 4, 2015

are ya kiddin me, utah??

sorry, mom.

look at this cute dude! i whipped out my phone to take a picture, and i swear he looked at me & smiled on purpose. 


our cute little italian friend filming garrett climbing and jordan belaying.
a selfie for good measure. i'm guessing jordan looks like he's in pain because the hike was so intense?

last week, we took a mini trip to southern utah and camped for a few nights. it was my first time to st george, to zions, to bryce canyon, and it did NOT DISAPPOINT. where has this red rock been all of my life?? holy crap, guys! i was expecting to have a great time and enjoy the scenery, but i was blown away. by everything. that place is UNREAL.  we hurried and bought a year pass to the national parks so that we can hit up zions again, and make it to arches in the fall. 

one day while the boys were rock climbing in snow canyon, kristin and i were chatting down at the bottom and an old italian man named fabio hiked up to us and asked if he could film our husbands for a documentary he was making about southern utah. we ended up chatting with him for almost an hour - he told us about growing up in italy, moving to britain, and now splitting his time between the spanish countryside and the english countryside. what a life, right?? but he was so adamant that utah was one of his favorite places, that the beauty here is unparalleled. (this was his 7th visit here.) this man lives in the english countryside and he can't wait to visit little old utah?? i felt a little ungrateful for not appreciating it here. it's all about perspective, ya know?

angel's landing was a beast, and reminded me that being "in shape" is a relative term. i can kick butt in a spin class, but i'm out of breath after the second switchback. go figure! the view from the top was 100 million percent worth it, though. 

also, random thought: i was feeding a chipmunk part of my pb&j at the top. he was getting braver and braver as time went on, and eventually he would grab bread right out of my hand. at one point, i didn't let go of the bread when he tried to take it, so he put the bread in his mouth, took his 2 tiny hands and pushed my fingers off the bread! i was laughing so hard. it was the cutest thing that ever happened to me. 

we hiked into a cave close to our campsite, (which was dubbed our bad A moment of the weekend. that cave was scary!) explored bryce canyon, experienced fractured prune donuts, ate our weight in s'mores, spent a few hilarious hours trying to kill kangaroo rats with a hatchet (after finding their droppings in our food and our car) and laughed a lot a lot a lot. i am so grateful i got the chance to experience more that utah has to offer - we will be back for ya!