June 28, 2015

taking stock 08.





loving: all of the facebook fights happening on my feed this weekend. some real genuine, juicy entertainment you guys.

but really: the only thing i have to say about all of the drama is this: “pure christlike love flowing from true righteousness can change the world.” -holland

succeeding: at pushing my way out with reporters at abc! being out in the field is seriously the funnest – doing interviews, learning, writing packages. the life of a reporter is the life for me. i was able to accompany a team to the warriors parade a week ago, and it was crowded and crazy and madness but it was my favorite day of work yet!

obsessed with: watercoloring. i’ve picked it back up & i am looovin it!

cooking: LOL i still don’t cook.

reading: through lion witch and the wardrobe again – those books are some of my favorites ever.

a little sad at: how quickly this summer is going by. i counted our saturdays left here, and they are running out too quick! we’ve got to really take charge of our bucket list situation here.  

wasting time: watching parenthood. i finally listened to the promptings of friends to watch it and it is NOT failing me. all of the feels!

getting better at: city driving! the first few weeks we were here, jordan drove everywhere and it’s the weirdest thing, being the passenger in a car is way scarier than being the driver. does anybody else experience this? i think it’s a lack of control thing. (i’m still a hot mess when it comes to parking, though.)

missing: utah summer. snowcones and the fair and hikes and swimming holes. missing utah in general - i'm excited to go back in fall to all of our good friends and the comfort i feel there. and for the LOVE i want a swig cookie and some cafe rio!!

appreciating: the sunshine i experienced yesterday in the south bay. as wonderful as sf is, the summer fog and wing is not always ideal. it was fun to escape and have it feel like summer for a second!

appreciating: the miniscule amount of time i am getting to spend with jordan. i am understanding that sentiment that you really start to appreciate something when it’s taken away from you. i want to laugh when we’re together, i want to have a good time, and i have fallen into this habit of always holding on to him – his arm or his hand – while we walk, while we sleep, while we watch a movie in bed, etc etc.

looking forward to: having guests! over the next few weeks we have four people coming to play with us in the bay! playing tour guide is the bomb.

excited: about the fourth – we bought a boat cruise over the bay so that we are UNDERNEATH the fireworks as they go off. underneath! also, sissy will be here and i love america! win win win.

 grateful for: the friends we have made here in the city. i really don’t know what we would do without them. 

June 25, 2015

on throwing your confidence into question.



at work here in san francisco, i  am nothing short of a novelty.

you’re 24? you’re married??!! for how long? you realize that’s going to hinder your career right? do you know what a liability your husband is to a TV career? if you’re going to quit & have kids, you should just get out now. you went to school in utah? you’re not from “that religion” are you? did you know that mormons killed a bunch of indians in 1845? i knew a mormon bishop that molested kids. were your mormon when you lived in colorado or did you become mormon when you moved to utah? (ha ha ha) <<< all real questions and comments i have fielded while working here.

i usually leave a positive first impression with people, but people really seem to not like the fact that i am lds. they are open about this dislike, they make jokes, they offer up anti literature for me to read. i didn’t grow up in an lds community, but never have i experienced such negativity towards, what is, the most important part of my life. after my first couple of days here, my spirit was a little crushed. i called up a girlfriend and she assured me that those people were immature and to not care what they think. i was there to gain work experience, not convince them of something they obviously already have an opinion about. i became pretty determined during that conversation – i didn’t care if they hated the fact that I was mormon, they were going to like ME. i would (and will) work hard and be positive and show up with a BIG A SMILE every morning and ask questions and engage and by the end of the summer, they will have a real-life positive experience with someone who is mormon.

on a completely different front, i have received a substantial amount of judgment slash pity slash judgey-pity that stems from our choice to ride the investment banking train. (this is where investment banking wife friends come in handy. they are the bee-knees.) yes jordan works that many hours, (90-110, no that is not an exaggeration) no i am not mad about it, yes i am lonely sometimes - but i signed up for this. i am an adult, i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself while jordan is at work, and I am mostly SO FREAKIN PROUD of that boy. how many people have the work ethic to work those hours and do well? and like it?? not many. (it’s possible that he is part-robot. who can function on 4 hours of sleep all week is what i would like to know?) i get a lot of “i could NEVER do that” and “i am so glad MY husband didn’t do that” and to them i say, cool beans. good for you. we’re sacrificing 2 years now so that we can have the lifestyle we want for the next 60+ years.  i know 100% that it’ll be worth it. but you know, you do you.

okay. now that I got all sassy, this is the real reason for me recording all of this nonsense.

it’s because I feel GRATEFUL. grateful for the opportunity to have my life decisions questioned by so many people around me – co-workers, family friends.

i am grateful that people make fun of my religion- in having those experiences I am solidified in my love for the gospel and the life i have because of it.

i am grateful for the opportunity to question my decision to get married, and come to the realization that HOLY CRAP that was the best thing I ever did for myself, hands down!

and lastly, i am grateful to be tested in how confident i am in jordan and i’s decisions as a couple. we are a pretty wonderful team - & although we will make a lot of mistakes in our lifetime, i really feel confident about the path we are headed down right now. not confident like “we are doing the best thing” but confident that we are doing the best thing FOR US.


although this summer has been lonely at times, and essentially harder than i expected, i feel myself growing in ways that i really need, and being tested in all of the places that i could use some testing.  and that’s really what this whole life thing is supposed to be about.

June 21, 2015

10 things you didn't know about me.

my cute friend leah did one of these posts and tagged me to share a few random facts about myself. some of these are recycled from an old instagram post (i'm not THAT interesting) but i completely  love reading these about other people, so i thought i'd share a few of my own!



1. i ran into a pole one time and literally gave myself a black eye. it was about 3 months after jordan and i got married, it was while we were packing up our car to go home for christmas, and he got a loooot of weird stares when we showed up for christmas and i was sporting a purple eye ;)

2. i pretty much love all kinds of music, but i really have a soft spot for the 80's. i think it might be because my parents are SUCH loyalists to their generation (wango tango concerts, blue eyeshadow and all) and it possibly passed on to me through their blood. give me the cure or give me death! (or depeche mode, or u2, or phil collins, i love it all!)

3. i sleep in the exact same position every single night. on my side, top leg propped up in a flamingo-like fashion, covers held tightly in place up by my chin. although - when i am really tired, i can practically nap while in motion. 

4. the day i met jordan, i thought it would be a good idea to eat buffalo wild wings for lunch and then go workout an hour later. although i have no recollection of this, he asked for my name as i rushed to the bathroom to throw up - he thought i was just kinda rude. apparently that didn't deter him from asking for my number a few days later, so it all worked out. (we didn't put this story together until we were engaged, you guys. engaged!) 

5. i played with barbies until i was thirteen years old, i had tea parties on the reg, and i made my mom address me as "her princess AND queen" as a little girl. (the day i found out that "princess" was not a real major in college was a tough one.) i cannot WAIT to have girls of my own and pick up those barbies again!

6. i have the worst FOMO of anyone i have ever met. i LOVE nothing more than to be in the center of all the fun. sometimes i get on the "community calendar" and get so depressed at all the festivals and concerts i have missed. *eye rolling because i am terribly ridiculous* i drove 17 hours to the fiesta bowl the day after i broke my ankle because there was no way in hades i was about to miss that football game. (guys i don't even really like football.) everyone tried to talk me out of it because my foot was deep blue and the size of a microwave, but NOPE. i wasn't going to miss out on a good time. (i am actually working on this about myself, i swear.) 

7. i am creepily obsessed with both the kennedy family and lauren conrad. 

8. i think my biggest pet-peeve is people who are overly-opinionated and share their thoughts un-solicited. it's great to be passionate, but not as great to think that everyone should share your views. because they're just that. yours. also see: when people "guffaw" instead of laugh, over-competitiveness. 

9. i anchored the news at a local station (but it was more like a closet with a camera) in logan, utah several years ago. watching those old tapes makes me seriously LOL, but i loved getting practice being on camera - even if only 13 people watch the channel and i ran the teleprompter myself. 

10. i must have a really generic-looking face because i am constantly getting told i look like other people. at least once a week i get a, "you look just like my brother's girlfriend!" or "are you related to such and such?" or "has anyone told you that you look like ashley tisdale?" (why yes, i actually have, i was once mistaken for her at disneyland and asked for my autograph.) < that is a true story, and yes i signed a fake autograph.


although i want everyone to do these because i think they are so fun, i am going to call out you, B. also ashley and riley and kylie. go go go!

June 16, 2015

#housesofsanfrancisco


every time i walk out of our door i fall in love with a new street, a new house, a new block. nobody is shy with color here and the victorian style details make me feel like i'm in lady & the tramp, hometown usa. i love the differing neighborhoods - the marina (where we live) is a little more beach-fronty, nob hill is prim and european, russian hill is vintagey and quiet. oh but they all are a dream. i decided to dump a few of my favorites pictures here and start a series, #housesofsanfrancisco. 

June 15, 2015

happy sf moments.

instead of promising myself that i would make a long, detailed account of our adventure here this summer, i resolved a little more realistically: to write down a few favorite moments of each day here in the bay. here are a few i thought were worth sharing:



+ after jordan's first day of work, he got home at about 1:30 am & accidentally woke me up. he didn't say a word, he just just wrapped me up and cuddled me back to sleep. gosh i love that boy. 

+ a few days ago, there was a homeless guy straight up sleeping in the middle of the safeway parking lot. like in between a few cars, just chillin. at first i was legit concerned that he was dead, but then he twitched. i snapped a quick pic, and then started laughing so hard. then! later in the day, a homeless guy was sleeping in the middle of this huuuge sidewalk. like, people were having to step around him, laying in the sun at 4pm, totally passed out. don't usually homeless people set up shop in a park or a doorway?? apparently not, and i've gotten a kick out of it. 

+ when i open our windows at night, i can smell just a hint of the ocean. 

+ there's a pizza place downstairs, and our closest exit route is the hallway next to their kitchen - they usually have the kitchen door propped open anyway, so we can see right in as they mix the sauce and throw the dough. i walk out of the hallway probably 3-4 times a day, and each time i'm like, i could really go for some pizza right now! the smell is divine.

+ as i walk down broadway to work, i have a view of the transamerica building to the my right, and a stunning picture of the bay bridge straight ahead. and then i just say to myself, i could get used to this city!

+ our church building is completely charming - it's located at the top of a steep hill in pac heights. it's neat to look out the windows to see a view of the city.

+ i went to "yoga at the labrynth" by myself last week - it's a weekly yoga class held at grace cathedral on nob hill. i said hello to my neighbor, spread out my mat, and seriously loved the hour of meditation and de-stressing. i had like a mo-jo moment in that cathedral, where i felt like i was aligning myself with life here. i felt connected to everyone there, to this city, to my life in california. i wandered nob hill after the class (nob hill is what dreams are made of) and let myself fall in love with the cable cars and cute houses and steep hills.

+ jordan surprised me with a selfie stick in the mail while he was in new york. i took it out for a quick spin (yes, alone...) and made some asian friends who were doing the same thing.

+ we found "kirby cove", a rope swing, and a perfect view of the golden gate last sunday.


oh, & here is our homeless safeway friend:







June 8, 2015

land's end.






hello up there, little rock climber!


what IS it about white waves crashing against sharp rocks that is SO satisfying? on one of our last days before jordan flew to new york, we wandered through golden gate park, made a necessary stop at bob's donuts, and then braved the wind at land's end. it's reminiscent of the scenes we saw at big sur - massive cliffs soaring down to the churning ocean below. (for all of you seinfeld fans, "the sea was angry that day, my friends.")  a lot of people joke the california is the promised land - & although i'm not sure how i feel about that quite yet, it is really stealing my heart. 

although both jordan and i have both jumped into summer work, i am so grateful for the memories that we have been able to make over the last month. we have the greatest time together. 

somehow we have kept the anxiety about the future at bay (mostly) and have just really soaked in our one-on-one time. i noticed that we were extra careful to take care of each other during those last couple of days - little things like him running to the store alone so that i don't have to get dressed, me getting up early to make him breakfast, him cleaning up while i work out and giving me 1,000 back rubs. so many "i love you's" were shared, it was nothing short of barfy. i am really in love with my human, you guys - and really proud of his work ethic. it takes a special guy to be "excited" for 100 hour work-weeks. (he really did say that he was excited for the challenge and to see what long hours would be like. what a psycho, right??) even though it pains me to say it, i am excited for him to see his career goals realized. i have made a LOT of mistakes in my life, but not when it comes to choosing a husband. i done did myself good on that one. 


June 1, 2015

more of the golden city.




















+ i promised myself i would spend as much time as humanly possible with jordan during our pre-internship break/holiday, and so i have severely neglected documentation of this time. (except on snapchat. i've been going HAM on snapchat, sorry friends.) but honestly, cuddling and exploring and eating and playing endless rounds of "would you rather" and watching all three jurassic parks in preparation for jurassic world have just been more important. jordan is training in nyc now (i've only had one breakdown so far!) and so i'm trying to remember favorite moments and memories of our two weeks of dream life. here they are:

+ on our last saturday, we drove across the bay bridge and went to the oakland temple - a much needed reminder of what we're even doing here, ya know? the best part was walking out to a) accidentally photobomb a wedding party - only one exit, sorry! and b) a sea of pink, sparkly quinsenera girls having photoshoots on the temple grounds. i have a feeling these quensenera photoshoots are going to be a theme for my summer in the bay. the picture above was the only one we snagged without some poof in it. (also - homeroom mac n cheese in oakland!)

+ we took a quick visit to the "tile steps project" in sunset - SO COOL & definitely worth a san francisco trip bucket list. we brought our tripod and took a few photos at varying points on the steps - jordan is very particular about photos and usually hates when strangers take them. we got to the bottom and the lesbian couple asked us, "so, are you guys taking engagements or something?" "nooooope, we just like pictures." face palm. 

+ we wandered the embarcadero and the ferry building on the only sunny day we've seen yet. (why you so cold and foggy and windy, SF??) we found some bomb ice cream (tahitian vanilla with bourbon caramel sauce, OHHH MY GAASH) and i used google maps to navigate us home on the bus all by ma-self. it was a productive day. 

+ we met up with some new friends in muir woods to wander around. those giant trees, man! it was worth the hour it took to find parking. ;)

+ on memorial day we went and saw pitch perfect, and afterwards wandered chestnut street - the shopping and dining street near our home that is to die for!! we ended up at this cozy little american bistro, where we sat by the window and people watched - and i ate the best cornbread OF MY LIFE. little sea salt flecks on top and i was dead. these points are turning into a food diary kind of? whoops.

+ speaking of food, we live across the street from fort mason, where they host "off the grid", a food truck monstrosity held every friday night. all of our bacon and grilled cheese and chicken taco dreams have been coming true, so there's that. 

+ we encountered our first "okay, this city is kind of a freak show" moment the other day in union square. there was a lady screaming expletives, nonstop, at the bus station. i mean for 7, 8 minutes straight maybe? then she got on our bus and continued the screaming. (she kept yelling, what are you looking at, blankity blank blank?" so i was too afraid to even turn my head.) to my surprise, people on the bus started complaining and at the next stop, the driver stood up to kick her off. collective fist bump for the sane humans! also see: tenderloin district. we drove a few streets out of curiosity one night. and surely, it is as scary as they all say. trash all over the street + homeless people galore + gangsters + drug deals errrrywhere. i am so glad i got a warning from a friend & we didn't end up signing on the apartment we looked at there. 

+ i bought a gym pass to a place called body rok here in the marina - it's a pilates and cycle studio and, as humiliating as this is to admit, i'm like tooootally the DUFF of that clique. my word! hot moms decked out in 100% lulu and i'm over there sporting my target cutoff and those ten pounds that have followed me since i broke my ankle. but i like the workout, so what do ya do. 

+ last week we got in the car and decided to drive over to the palace of fine arts - i guess the half mile walk was just a little too daunting that night. anyway, we accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up driving across the bridge! what is my life that i take a wrong turn & end up driving to sausalito?! it was very exciting and there was lots of screaming involved. guys, i just really love it here.