at work here in san francisco, i am nothing short of a novelty.
you’re 24? you’re married??!! for how long? you realize that’s going to hinder your career right? do you know what a liability your husband is to a TV career? if you’re going to quit & have kids, you should just get out now. you went to school in utah? you’re not from “that religion” are you? did you know that mormons killed a bunch of indians in 1845? i knew a mormon bishop that molested kids. were your mormon when you lived in colorado or did you become mormon when you moved to utah? (ha ha ha) <<< all real questions and comments i have fielded while working here.
i usually leave a positive first impression with people, but people really seem to not like the fact that i am lds. they are open about this dislike, they make jokes, they offer up anti literature for me to read. i didn’t grow up in an lds community, but never have i experienced such negativity towards, what is, the most important part of my life. after my first couple of days here, my spirit was a little crushed. i called up a girlfriend and she assured me that those people were immature and to not care what they think. i was there to gain work experience, not convince them of something they obviously already have an opinion about. i became pretty determined during that conversation – i didn’t care if they hated the fact that I was mormon, they were going to like ME. i would (and will) work hard and be positive and show up with a BIG A SMILE every morning and ask questions and engage and by the end of the summer, they will have a real-life positive experience with someone who is mormon.
on a completely different front, i have received a substantial amount of judgment slash pity slash judgey-pity that stems from our choice to ride the investment banking train. (this is where investment banking wife friends come in handy. they are the bee-knees.) yes jordan works that many hours, (90-110, no that is not an exaggeration) no i am not mad about it, yes i am lonely sometimes - but i signed up for this. i am an adult, i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself while jordan is at work, and I am mostly SO FREAKIN PROUD of that boy. how many people have the work ethic to work those hours and do well? and like it?? not many. (it’s possible that he is part-robot. who can function on 4 hours of sleep all week is what i would like to know?) i get a lot of “i could NEVER do that” and “i am so glad MY husband didn’t do that” and to them i say, cool beans. good for you. we’re sacrificing 2 years now so that we can have the lifestyle we want for the next 60+ years. i know 100% that it’ll be worth it. but you know, you do you.
okay. now that I got all sassy, this is the real reason for me recording all of this nonsense.
it’s because I feel GRATEFUL. grateful for the opportunity to have my life decisions questioned by so many people around me – co-workers, family friends.
i am grateful that people make fun of my religion- in having those experiences I am solidified in my love for the gospel and the life i have because of it.
i am grateful for the opportunity to question my decision to get married, and come to the realization that HOLY CRAP that was the best thing I ever did for myself, hands down!
and lastly, i am grateful to be tested in how confident i am in jordan and i’s decisions as a couple. we are a pretty wonderful team - & although we will make a lot of mistakes in our lifetime, i really feel confident about the path we are headed down right now. not confident like “we are doing the best thing” but confident that we are doing the best thing FOR US.
although this summer has been lonely at times, and essentially harder than i expected, i feel myself growing in ways that i really need, and being tested in all of the places that i could use some testing. and that’s really what this whole life thing is supposed to be about.