on cancer.

a few months ago, (during spring finals week, to be exact) my dad was diagnosed with cancer. he immediately underwent surgery and is now going through bi-weekly chemotherapy to counteract the aggressive disease. in light of the fact that my best friend lost her mom to cancer earlier this year, i am still digesting this information and have been pretty hesitant to share it with anyone. plus, it's just downer news.

the emotion surrounding this news kind of got lost for me - we made some big life changes and were in total transition mode while this all was transpiring, and i still feel the residual effects of this it all some days. however, i felt it the most when my mom send me a photo of my bald father. he looked like he had aged about 20 years. i saw myself in that picture - we have similar eyes and facial structure - and my chest clenched up in a panic, breaking my heart.  i immediately dropped to my knees and prayed for them. i felt pretty connected to my family in that moment, although i couldn't be there with him.

this is probably really cliche, but all of this has made me be a little more introspective and evaluate how i am living my life. these experiences always draw me into myself and help me focus on who i am becoming. i wrote down the following questions in my journal:

am i happy every day? do i tell my husband and my family that i love them every chance i get? do i jump on every chance to make and build good relationships with others? am i bold? do i adventure every day? am i adding value to my life with everything that i do? do i spend any time dwelling on negativity that i shouldn't?

hopefully we can say YES to all of those questions. (and NO to the last one) guys i am so grateful for the opportunity to turn this experience into one of learning and growth, grateful for my family, and so so grateful for modern medicine! it's a good life, hazel grace. (sorry, i had to.)


Comments

  1. oh no. now im crying. I love this family. and you! come home.

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  2. I am so sorry about the news. My mom was diagnosed with cancer just a little over a year ago. She just finished all her treatments, and is on the road to recovery. Her hair is growing back slowly, and everyone is still trying to adjust. Cancer is such an awful, awful disease. I'll send all the love and prayers your family's way.

    Also I love the TFIOS reference. Fave book ever.
    xo

    My Journey to Joy

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  3. im so sorry. i remember when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. you always hear about it happening to people but never in a million years think it will happen to someone YOU love. your dad is going to be just fine. The Lord has a plan for your family!!! I think experiences like this bring families closer together. They make you appreciate the little things more don't they? sending love to your family!

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    1. thank you so much, madeline - you are so sweet. (and totally right, these things bring you closer together and help you appreciate the little things!)

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  4. Hazel grace <3 I'm just reading this! You are so inspiring to me. Such a great wife, and person :) Praying for your family cute girl!

    xo, Kiely

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