October 29, 2015

happy list 14.

+ i spent an hour chatting with ashlyn at school & when she got up to leave, she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "i just LOVE you!" and then walked away. it was the sweetest.

+ the portion sizes at black bear diner. the bear claw french toast. the biscuits and gravy. (we ordered thinking that we would have massive amounts of leftovers....instead we ate almost all of it.)

+ re-watching all the star wars movies in preparation for the new movie!

+ when your girlfriends third wheel it to the movies with you + your husband.

+ our friend spencer introduced me to new friends as "the nicest person you will ever meet, seriously she will make you feel like you're her best friend."

+ a VM from jordan where he casually mentions that i'm "the best wife any man could ask for." (i'm not, but it was nice of him to say.)

+ my phone died last night while i was sleeping, so my alarm never went off. but! jordan miraculously forgot to turn off his 7am alarm so i wasn't horrendously late, my boss was super chill about it, and i got a nice 8 hours because of it. ;)

+ hot chocolate from a coco motion.

+ putting together our halloween costume (!!) and having j be more invested in it than usual.

+ when your pre-workout kicks in and you get all tingly and then start to rip through your workout like a monster. #toolbag

+ tea tree scalp mask that makes my head tingle so much it feels like it's on fire (in a good way.)

+ zquil. (basically nyquil without the cough medicine.)

+ cold, cozy, crisp mornings!!!

+ reese's pumpkins.

+ it's almost november. which means i can rip off my halloween costume at the stroke of midnight on saturday and start singing christmas songs!!! IT'S ALMOST THE HOLIDAYS YOU GUUUUYS!

October 27, 2015

madison's wedding week!

are these underwear not hilarious

i threw madi a little bachelorette party at pizzeria 712 the weekend before her wedding. we kept the guest list small and just shared intimate *cough* stories and gave her some *fancy* pajamas. (thanks to B for coining that term.) it was the coziest little girl's night and holy MOTHER provo bakery makes a good white cake! but seriously, it was divine. (& sorry to the girls who left before the group photo!)

madi got married the following thursday, on a perfectly crisp, sunny fall morning. most of our girlfriends were able to make it, the food was incredible, and the day was, all around, just the happiest. love is the best!!! (and donuts trail closely behind. check out the donut display below!)

smothering madi as she came out of the temple, madi is like....kayla could ya not.

provo bakery, you've done it again! LOOK AT THAT.

 my squad, they are the greatest. 

October 20, 2015

white girl-ing.

just checking in to say hello, we are still here. still here and busy and loving all of the coziness that comes with fall. i've cracked out louis armstrong's "cool yule" a few times already (don't hate me, christmas music gives me a nice pick me up year round) i have been thoroughly enjoying the cold, crisp mornings around here, and orange spice tea has been on repeat.

sunday after church we drove up to snowbird and rode the aerial tram with our neighbors. last time we went, the mountains were snow-capped, but this time the rock was exposed and it looked like a scene out of lord of the rings. it was vast and cold and gorgeous. (the drive up was littered with bright yellow among the dark pine, which is the dreeeeeamist!) 

we were talking about that quote from p&p, "what are men to rocks and mountains?" and scott, the husband of the couple we were with, said "oh yeah! mr percy says that! i mean, lord darcy?" i laughed so hard. 

forgive these heinous photos - but this night was so snug and cozy it is worth documenting! we made grilled cheese (with our friend garrett's homemade bread, have mercy) and tomato soup with the windows open so that the smell and sound of rain could drift in. after dinner we carved pumpkins and watched the walking dead (of which i am not a huge fan, but it was very halloween-ey) and it was all just fall perfection.

obviously we went to a pumpkin patch, and obviously we took pictures. 

i bought jordan byu tickets for his birthday, but when the day rolled around we had some friends offer us better seats.  my "caring about football" threshold usually expires around halftime, so i was glad to have a girl to chat through the second half with. i've waited all semester for that cougar tail and it DID NOT DISAPPOINT ME. 

and here's a few pictures of pretty fall colors, because i'm sure you haven't seen enough on your instagram feed! over & out.

October 8, 2015

taking stock 09.

loving: jordan a little extra lately. warning, sappiness ahead: the other night, he met me in the parking lot to take groceries in and before i even said hello, he grabbed my face, kissed me, and said, “thanks for making me want to be better.” ??? like where did this angel man come from? in the same week, i had a terrible day and to make me feel better he suggested we “get a cookie from swig and then make out in the car to christmas music.” LIKE DOES HE KNOW ME PERFECTLY??!! holy smokes does he get any better??  

& one more brag: i have been talking to a few un-married friends about their dating lives, and have just felt especially grateful for the way jordan treated me through our time dating. we didn’t have a perfect relationship, but i never questioned for one millisecond if jordan was 100% in. he pursued me, he told me how he felt, & i always knew i came first. (still in awe of how i pulled this one off!) 

dwelling on: the spirit felt throughout our entire conference weekend. every six months i feel like i need those messages more and my life is more affected by them. we were able to attend the sunday afternoon session and although watching conference in your pj’s stuffing blueberry muffins into your mouth is wonderful, being in the same room as the prophet is something that i don't want to ever take for granted. 

still obsessed with: the pink hair. it's faded quite a bit, but each shade is cooler than the next.

watching: hocus pocus (twice in the last three days, whoops) it just makes it feel like fall!

 looking forward to: our six months of travel and family time after we graduate in december.

cooking: oh wait, i still don’t cook. LOL. i did throw some chicken, potatoes, and carrots in the crock pot with cream of chicken soup for a fall fhe on monday, and it made my house smell like a cozy fall cabin.

smelling: the “leaves” candle from bath and body works. it was given to me as a birthday gift and i am HOOKED. “leaves” is the stupidest name for a candle – whoever came up with that maybe should be fired – but the smell is a perfect autumn combination.

 reading: “china dolls” – a historical fiction about being asian during wwii. (also set in sf!) it would make it on my “must read” list, it’s so good! 

remembering: how insane utah sunsets are. 
also reading: “broadcast hysteria” – a detailed account of “war of the worlds” hysteria in 1938. the book is researched based so it’s a little slow, but anything media-related sucks me right in.

listening to: brene brown’s “rising strong.” it’s an incredible read and her research, based around how being vulnerable is the key to connecting with people, is a revelation.

 wasting time: welcoming mindy lahiri into my life again. & danny castellano. that show is just my kind of humor & i so wish the episodes were coming at me faster than once a week!

a little worried: about my senioritis. the vigor with which i approach my studies usually starts to wane about midterms. this semester i lost focus like, the second week? i am having that mental battle every morning i get up for class, where i rationalize skipping the entire day, or at least my first class? deep down i really love school, but this semester is struuuuuugles.

surprised: at the lack of fall colors. we rode the chairlift at sundance this past weekend and although it is still breathtaking up there, hardly a shade of yellow was to be found! since this is our last fall in utah, i am a little disappointed – but maybe it’ll make the transition easier. (the only thing that softens the blow is thinking about christmas in big cities. ahhhhh!!)

 appreciating: the crispy fall air every morning as i walk through our tree-lined parking lot. it smells all mulchy and makes me feel SO COZY. there is nothing better!

October 1, 2015

on pink hair & letting go.

about a month ago, i got wind of some extended family members gossiping about me. what they said is not important, but i was pretty hurt. i'm aware of my imperfections, and i'm sure i rub people the wrong way sometimes - but to hear negative things other people say about you, totally laid out, pretty unfair, and by family no less - it kind of shook me. i obsessed over it and sought an obnoxious amount of validation from other friends.

once i had gotten over my hurt feelings, i had a come to jesus talk with myself. i needed to stop caring what other people thought of me so much, it was honestly becoming self destructive!!

people will gossip behind my back, they will think they're better than me, they will criticize what i say and what i do and what i post. it's an unfortunate reality - but that's just life, that just happens. my mom made a good point - she told me the people that really know me, and really know my heart, those are the opinions that matter, and those are the people that think i'm wonderful. and beyond those relationships - my opinion of myself and god's opinion of me. those are the people that really know me best, & if i feel satisfied in those, i can confidently disregard anything else and attract positivity. guys, this is a hard lesson for me, and one that i know i will have to re-learn a million more times before i die. but i feel the need to share this because it's SO crucial to our happiness and progression. if we live in the praise of others, we will die in their criticism. if we are striving to simply happy with ourselves and who we are, we can forgive ourselves when we fall short and the rest, i really believe, will just fall into place.

okay we're going to move from kinda deep to pretty fluffy now, so...stay with me.

i've wanted to go pink for AGES but i was always a) working at a news station where it would be completely unacceptable, or b) had a scholarship where i periodically met with professionals, and again - totally unacceptable. so since it's my last semester, my boss couldn't care less, and my hair girl was on board - i made an appointment!

and then....i started panicking. i heard people gossip about other friend's hair and was CONFIDENT i would be the target of their next judgment. i didn't want people to think i was trashy, or insane, or too old, the list goes on. a lot of people told me not to do it. A LOT.

finally one night, jordan (who, by the way, doesn't love the fact that his wife is someone that would want her hair pink, haha) said, "you know what? you need to go through with it. this is a perfect opportunity to do what YOU want to do and disregard anyone else."

and so i did. when tara spun me around dramatically to face the mirror, i fell in love that first second. i think it's so beautiful in a really unconventional way, and was immediately glad i followed through.

now before you think i'm too psycho, it's a wash out color. it will fade every day and probably be gone within two weeks. and also this note: i get that it's just hair, and this is a totally superficial example of breaking the mold. it's insanely trivial. but this was a good first step for me! i did what i wanted to do, i like it, and the stares and snide comments (so far) haven't phased me. i am taking a step out of the cage of other's judgment that i have been in for a loooong time. it feels good, and i think it'll lead to more substantial breakthroughs in this area of my life.

in the words of my girl amy p - "good for you, not for me." let's try to apply a little more of that, don't ya think?