once i had gotten over my hurt feelings, i had a come to jesus talk with myself. i needed to stop caring what other people thought of me so much, it was honestly becoming self destructive!!
people will gossip behind my back, they will think they're better than me, they will criticize what i say and what i do and what i post. it's an unfortunate reality - but that's just life, that just happens. my mom made a good point - she told me the people that really know me, and really know my heart, those are the opinions that matter, and those are the people that think i'm wonderful. and beyond those relationships - my opinion of myself and god's opinion of me. those are the people that really know me best, & if i feel satisfied in those, i can confidently disregard anything else and attract positivity. guys, this is a hard lesson for me, and one that i know i will have to re-learn a million more times before i die. but i feel the need to share this because it's SO crucial to our happiness and progression. if we live in the praise of others, we will die in their criticism. if we are striving to simply happy with ourselves and who we are, we can forgive ourselves when we fall short and the rest, i really believe, will just fall into place.
okay we're going to move from kinda deep to pretty fluffy now, so...stay with me.
i've wanted to go pink for AGES but i was always a) working at a news station where it would be completely unacceptable, or b) had a scholarship where i periodically met with professionals, and again - totally unacceptable. so since it's my last semester, my boss couldn't care less, and my hair girl was on board - i made an appointment!
and then....i started panicking. i heard people gossip about other friend's hair and was CONFIDENT i would be the target of their next judgment. i didn't want people to think i was trashy, or insane, or too old, the list goes on. a lot of people told me not to do it. A LOT.
finally one night, jordan (who, by the way, doesn't love the fact that his wife is someone that would want her hair pink, haha) said, "you know what? you need to go through with it. this is a perfect opportunity to do what YOU want to do and disregard anyone else."
and so i did. when tara spun me around dramatically to face the mirror, i fell in love that first second. i think it's so beautiful in a really unconventional way, and was immediately glad i followed through.
now before you think i'm too psycho, it's a wash out color. it will fade every day and probably be gone within two weeks. and also this note: i get that it's just hair, and this is a totally superficial example of breaking the mold. it's insanely trivial. but this was a good first step for me! i did what i wanted to do, i like it, and the stares and snide comments (so far) haven't phased me. i am taking a step out of the cage of other's judgment that i have been in for a loooong time. it feels good, and i think it'll lead to more substantial breakthroughs in this area of my life.
in the words of my girl amy p - "good for you, not for me." let's try to apply a little more of that, don't ya think?