in october, i drove myself to utah (not one of my wisest decisions, driving alone cross country?) for my friend cassidy's wedding.

i knew i would be all nostalgic bc that's just who i am, but i wasn't expecting it to be *quite* as intense as it was. don't get me wrong - i LOVE our life in california and i am certain it is where we are supposed to be! but we're still, settling in you know? a lot of it still new, still being figured out.

but driving back into utah county felt like being wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket of familiarity and it felt incredible. every street, every restaurant, every friend felt like coming home. (it didn't help that the entire town was painted gold and red, either.)

i went to the byu bookstore one day by myself, and as i walked across campus i just had an especially intense moment with utah. the air was crispy and fresh, it smelled like freshly cut grass and damp leaves, the tops of the mountains were hidden in fog, the colors of the trees were popping and the day just felt so ... calm. & meditative. & reflective.

i loved our existence in utah and our life was so wonderful while we lived there. it was simple and so, so happy. and GOSH fall in utah is just everything glorious !!! i'll be glad i live in california once winter rolls around, but right now i am just really upset that palm trees can't change color ?!?

i ate ALL of the food and saw all of the people and had all of the fun. all of the girls made it to cassidy's wedding (we are smattered all throughout the US) and the reunion was the sweetest. my friend kayla ended up having a surprise birthday party during my visit, which resulting in the perfect opportunity for me to catch up with all of our boise friends. i felt like i was able to see almost everyone! but as always, i left wishing i had another month to spend visiting friends and enjoying quality time.

mid-way through my trip our downstairs neighbor texted me a picture of our group of friends watching the BYU game and said, wish you were here! i felt truly homesick for san francisco and our friends and our life in that moment.

although it felt a little like my heart being ripped in two, i feel really blessed to feel so connected to and have such love for two homes. utah, i freakin love ya!


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