January 27, 2017

sf lately: january.

the other night at our weekly "bachelor" viewing, a girlfriend said "i can't believe it's almost february!" and my jaw literally dropped. i was like WHAAAAAT! what happened to january?! this month seriously flew by in a half second - jordan and i are both busy, the weekends haven't been marked by anything specific and i feel like the entire month went by in a huge blur. but a fabulous blur nonetheless!

it has been rainy and foggy and cold ALL MONTH LONG. there was a short reprieve from the dreary one saturday morning so we ferried over to angel island and hiked with our neighbors. i love that we have so many outdoor escapes so close to home! (and obviously i am loving my fish eye lens, too.)

a baby shower for my dear friend lindsay at patxi's (some of the best pizza i've had here yet) 

exploring potrero hill on a saturday night.

pacific heights on an especially beautiful day.

the view out of our bathroom window on a less beautiful (but still cozy) day:

sometimes my friend's "hikers club" turns into "let's just play at the beach and watch the sunset" - the cotton candy sunsets here (especially with the golden gate bridge as a backdrop) are stunning.

and a dog selfie for good measure:

January 23, 2017

the best lessons i learned from jackie o.

my celebrity obsessions are few, but man, do they run deep. jackie o is one classy lady and i have read so many books about her, i could probably write one myself at this point. what's funny about my obsession with jackie is that i don't find her particularly beautiful - my admiration of her stems completely from her discipline, sophistication, and rigid dedication to class.

i connect with a lot of aspects in jackie's life - she was gregarious but loved her privacy fiercely. (like me.) she presented an outward front of confidence but underneath she still had many insecurities. (like me.) she was expected to be a society wife and pop out kids, but was bored with that idea & always desired more gratification out of life. (kind of like me.) once she did have babies, she was a loving and incredibly dedicated mother - her children were her world. (like i hope to be.)

her life was not easy but she handled everything with the perfect amount of poise, grace, and just a pinch of "i am going to do what's best for me, to hell with you" attitude. being cultured and intellectual was top priority for jackie and she was a perfect picture of discipline - all things i wish to emulate more as i continue to grow up.

here is a personal list of my favorite lessons learned from our former first lady:

1. when you are deciding what to wear - go with the classics. a nice black top, your string of pearls, a fitted a-line dress, a pair of big sunglasses. jackie did not buy stylish pieces, she made her pieces stylish - and she did that by sticking with what worked for her. she stayed on trend but was not trendy, & she never went out in public without looking put-together.

2. privacy is so underrated. jackie had to share so much of her life with the public, but she still put a lot of stock in keeping things close to the vest. she wasn't secretive or mysterious, she just liked her life and her struggles to belong to her. similarly, i love to share my life with good friends but i think there is so much self-awareness in keeping some parts of your life private, of not putting everything out there for everyone to see. it keeps things special and sacred. i see it as a mark of her maturity to be so mindful about sharing intimate details. for someone's who life was so glamorous and photo worthy, i think there is an amount of humility that comes with her not needing everyone to know every detail of her life.

3. it is important, on so many levels, to be an equal partner to your spouse. jackie was such a kick a$$ wife!! (even when jack was a less than ideal partner to her.) she charmed people that jack couldn't, kept him entertained with her quick-wit, and even after his death she made sure to mold his legacy in a way that he would have wanted. she would never allow herself to be dumbed-down & did not sink in to her husband and let him live life for her (like so many girls from her generation did.) instead, she complimented him while building her own empire. i LOVE that about her.

4. accentuate the parts about yourself that you like best, downplay what you don't. jackie was known for her love of french culture, language, she even pronounced her name traditionally french. (jac-leen.) funny thing is, she was mostly irish. but she liked her french roots and that's what she chose to emphasize. there are parts of my life story that i don't love, but i like taking a page out of jackie's book and just focusing on the parts of my story that i DO love. the stories we tell ourselves are so powerful, jackie was living proof of that. (she also didn't like her hands, she thought they were too big - so often wore gloves to divert attention away from them.)

5. dedicate yourself to the people you love. jackie was the picture of devotion - her husband and her kids always came before herself and quality time with them was always priority. one of my favorite jackie stories happened after jack had surgery on his back - immediately following surgery, he was on his deathbed. his recovery took months of being bed-ridden and jackie hardly left his side. she read to him, kept him updated on current events, and then was the driving force behind his pulitzer prize winning book. now that is dedication.

January 13, 2017

how to be a grown A** woman, according to kayla.

compliment people every day. politely say "thank you" when others compliment you.
be intentional about what you say, don't just talk to be heard. invite people over to dinner instead of waiting for them to ask you. then serve what you like best.
never tell people what baby names you hate, there's a good chance it's their mom’s name. pay attention to how much of your breath you spend complaining about other people. if it's more than 10% - you might be the problem.
never do backhanded, sneaky, "sub tweet" kinds of things. don't bite your nails and don't sit on the toilet in front of anyone, ever.
sometimes it's okay to do what everyone else is doing, if it makes you happy. be different if that makes you happy, too.
don't be different just to be different, it's transparent & it will exhaust you.
give yourself a clean slate every morning. treat yourself to a massage, a new top, a nap. you deserve it.
write thank you notes like it is going out of style. 
make sleep a priority. get your clothes tailored to fit right.
always act interested, even when you’re not.
for heaven’s sake, let your husband go golfing with his buddies and buy a bigger tv.
be a courteous driver and don’t cause parking lot traffic jams waiting for someone to leave.
  read a lot of books because it makes your life better & you more interesting. join a book club. join 2 or 3.  stay up to date on the news because you’re an adult and you should know what’s going on in the world.
don’t go to places that have bouncers.
don't be cheap - tip 20% always.
stop forgetting that celebrating other's success IN NO WAY minimizes your own.
don’t reprimand people that call you “ma’am” or “sweetheart” or “lady.”
people are going to have bogus opinions and say things that are incorrect – it is usually not necessary to correct or “enlighten” them. in fact, it kind of makes you look like a jerk.
remember that your opinions are big in your world, but of little consequence to others.
love people even when you don’t feel like it’s returned at the same level because you’ll never run out of love to give. send birthday wishes and cards and gifts to everyone, even if they don’t do it back.
don't cut your own bangs ever ever ever.
“popular” is not a thing once you graduate from high school, and you should probably avoid people who act like it does.
go to the doctor and the dentist and the gyno. find physical activity that you like and never stop.
be a reliable friend that shows up and calls back and follows through.
don't brag about deleting your social media, nobody cares. 
take lots of pictures when you do fun things so you can look back and remember details.
make room for fear in your life and then learn when it’s appropriate to excuse it.
treat your boss and your assistant with the same level of respect. you ain’t better than anybody and ain’t nobody better than you.
don’t say ain’t.
take a selfie if you feelin yourself and don’t apologize!
find hobbies you are passionate about and don’t put off working hard so you can be good at them.
& lastly, resist the urge to tell your girlfriend you think her husband might be gay.

January 9, 2017

happy list 13.

it rained all weekend and sunday after church we snuggled all afternoon, it was the coziest. 
jordan and re-watching i laughing over this video ALL weekend. (warning: bad words.)
having smitten ice cream for the first time since moving back to the city!
finding new ways to use and decorate my bullet journal. 
finding a perfect new wreath for our kitchen window.
bachelor starting back up = weekly girls nights. 
tandem biking around golden gate park. 
facetiming my sissies.
group snapchaaats!
la la land.

January 6, 2017


i LOVE any chance to have a fresh start. i am actually a big believer in setting goals periodically - like at the beginning of every month, or even every week. it's more realistic and feasible to say "okay, this month i will do a, b, and c" instead of "this year i will become ____!" every journey starts will exactly one step, and giving yourself ample chances to start over helps foster motivation.

this year, jordan and i will likely be in the same position next january as we are today. same jobs, same place, same apartment, same ward. (this has never been the case in our married life.) what an opportunity! we are locked in to a routine. we are not moving, starting different semesters or jobs, we can settle in and *really* fine-tune ourselves. i am actually SO excited. 

this year, i want to focus on being more of an adult. that sounds silly when i type it out?? but most of my goals center around buckling down and operating at a higher capacity.

i get a lot of utility out of fun and adventure, but as we've moved here and started "grown up life" i have found that i can't rely on that as much as i have in years past, it makes me feel more flighty than i want to be.

 i have enjoyed the accomplished feeling i got when setting everything up for our new home single-handedly. i pay the bills, i manage insurance, i keep the car maintenanced, i clean and shop and launder. doing this alone is  A LOT OF WORK. but i can do a lot better! i want to be focused and intentional about every part of my life.

time to be a kick a$$ grown up, guys!!


>>> between jordan and i, we get ten paychecks a month. i want to stay on top of paying tithing every week, instead of calculating it after the fact.

>>> it's easy for me to be a "yes man" when it comes to shopping - the target dollar section? amazon prime shipping? 40% off clearance at anthro? ALL OVER THAT. i want to tell myself no more often, and find utility in saving. so in january, i am going NO EXTRAS. nothing that is not 100% necessary.

>>> after january, i am going to make a dollar amount savings plan for us each month.

>>> my 72 hour kit has been sitting in our living room, half finished, for weeks. it needs to be finished before the end of the month.

>>> we just started new insurance. i want to have an in-depth understanding of our coverage, both health and car. no winging it!

>>> plan my meals better. i eat alone and on the go 99% of the time, so this is hard, but i want to be more intentional about what i eat, cook more for myself, and have every meal be balanced. no more slim fasts in the car counting as dinner or frozen taquitos when i get home at midnight. i over-eat and under-eat and i want to feel like i consistently feeding my body what it needs, instead of what i can cram in when i remember how hungry i am.

>>> read every day. often i binge read a book (i feel like i miss a lot when i do that) and then go a week without picking one up. i LOVE to read and i want to be more consistent with it,even if it's just ten minutes before bed.

>>> waste less time. when i have a morning off, it can slip through my fingers after i dawdle on my phone, work out, and watch one episode of gilmore girls. i want to be more intentional and less habitual with my free time - organize something, paint, listen to a conference talk, prepare a good meal, plan something, read. i want to feel like i have taken a step forward when looking back at my free time.

>>> be more organized. i feel like i am operating at 70% organizational capacity and i want to kick it up to 100%. i love my bullet journal, but i could utilize it for more lists, more charts, more ideas.

>>> be a better friend. i pride myself on this as it is, but i can always do better. i want to approach every social situation with the intent to lift my friends, to listen, and to encourage them where they need it. (instead of approaching social situations to be heard or brimming with information about myself.)

>>> jordan and i were specifically asked by our bishop to reach out and befriend quieter people in the ward, inactives, etc. and invite new people to our home once a month. we report back to him in april. what a great opportunity to look outside myself! i want to continue this trend and stop being shy at group events, at work, when chatty ladies strike up a conversation with me at the gym. i can be more present and involved and social in every aspect of my life, and i know it'll make me happier. i want to be the mother hen that i know i am destined to be.

>>> chill out with our weekend calendar. UGH i don't even want to do this tbh, but sometimes my intensity about "fun" wears on myself, and jordan. i look forward to our saturdays SO MUCH that i hate seeing one pass by uneventful. but in true "adult" form, i need to chill it a bit. maybe once a month we just chill instead of packing the day full? idk we will see on this one.

>>> and lastly - this year, i want to really work on my relationships. pushing through hard things instead of avoiding them and going the extra mile to make the people i love feel that way. i am too often reminded that people and connection and feeling loved and giving love is the reason we are here, and i want to do a little better at treating them with the sacredness they deserve.