March 14, 2017

a self portrait.

my friend marissa snapped this picture of me during a sunny sunday trip to chrissy field. i had no idea she was taking this photo, and to me, it's so interesting to see true candids of yourself. you see other people candidly all the time - but really, i have no idea what *i* look like to other people. it's interesting to have that little window.

anyway, along with the self portrait, here's what's going on with kayla right now:

+ i love my jobs, but you guys..... i already feel restless. i feel like i have mastered what i am doing and i am starting to be a little bored. gosh, could i be more of a millennial? i am feeling very much ready for the next thing, so i'm starting to open myself up to what the best next step will be. this is pretty scary for me, i have always had jobs plop in my lap (i have been so spoiled) so actually starting from scratch and figuring what i want and what i am qualified for is new territory. i will start poking around and looking in the near future so i doubt i will be going anywhere soon, but it's on my mind a lot. i am ready for a new challenge.

+ i am feeling deflated when it comes to a lot of my goals. i feel like i am pushing myself and i WANT to be more on top of things but i just consistently fall short. like i am running so fast but i just cannot pass the person in the lane next to me. i should be swimming but instead i can barely keep my head above water. ya feel? i can't tell if this is a situation where i should just lower the bar for myself a little bit (sometimes necessary and helpful) or if i just need to push harder. one thing is for sure, i am so grateful for a patient husband and a fresh start every morning!

+ over the last several years, i have done a lot of kickboxing and i always love it. i have been trying out real boxing, like at a boxing gym, and I LOVE IT !! i'm trying to find a gym here where i can train consistently without actually training to be a fighter (i'll pass on the sparring for now) but i love how empowered it helps me feel. there is a boxing basics class held on saturday mornings at alta plaza park. the trainers are hilarious and the park has one of those view where you're just like "IS THIS MY LIFE!' anyway, i'm excited to take on a new challenge.

+ this year i have really tapped into my love for children's literature. i devoured "wonder" and "auggie and me" - both made me cry and i loved them. i am now reading "matilda" - roald dahl is so hilarious and i had forgotten! not only does it bring me a lot of joy to revisit stories that i love so much, but i have been building my children's book collection (thanks so 3.99 paperbacks on amazon prime) that i cannot wait to share with my children someday. i also think i need to start a children's lit book club.

+ i love the above photo especially because of the memory associated with it. sunday, jordan was supposed to be buried in the office but instead, he was let off the hook by his staffer. this is v rare! the happiness of a day spent together is intensified ten fold when it is unexpected! we sunbathed on our deck, took a walk along the bay, played in the sand, and then had a bbq with friends. i went to sleep that night exhausted from the sun and smelling like campfire. it all felt so summery and blissful and care-free. i am so grateful for perfect days like that day, sprinkled amid our routine, busy weeks.

+ this is random, but i have noticed that i have odd eating habits lately. jordan asked if i was eating a lot of refried beans after a family size can was empty the day after it was opened. i realized that i will go entire weeks only eating refried beans (i literally put them on a plate and warm them up, tortilla-less. it's delicious) pickles, pears, (i cannot get enough pears) protein shakes and sugar-free popcsicles. i feel fine, but is it okay to have such little variety in your diet? i take vitamins, does that make a difference? i am an adult, should i know the answer to this question by now? does anybody else do this??

March 10, 2017

my favorite female characters.

(idea for this post stolen from kylie.)

this past week was international women's day! i celebrated by reading a few clips out of this book and working, because that's what womanhood looks like to me right now. in honor of the day, i want to share some of my favorite female characters that inspire me to break boundaries and celebrate what being a woman looks like to me! 

POCAHONTAS first and foremost !! (my favorite disney princess, far and away.) she's open minded, she risks her life for people she loves, & she didn't feel the need to fall into line to please everyone by marrying kocoum. i also strangely love that her and john smith are parted at the end of the movie, because she wasn't about to follow him to another continent. so bittersweet. (oh, and her hair blowing in the wind?? killin it.)

LESLIE KNOPE of course ! i think of any fictional character, she is the one i aspire to be the most like. i hope my daughters want to be leslie knopes because she is genuinely a wonderful role model. (side note: this article about why leslie is better than liz lemon is a favorite of mine. i still LOVE me some liz lemon and 30 rock will always be a favorite, but when it comes to who i realistically want to be like, leslie is obviously the best choice.) leslie values being smart over being pretty. leslie lets herself be imperfect but knows that doesn't demean her worth. leslie fights for what she believes in. leslie shakes off sexism and continues to just work harder. leslie always goes above and beyond, for everyone and everything in her life. leslie is enthusiastic and passionate and SO extra and unabashedly herself. leslie exhudes optimism. man i could keep going here but i'm going to leave it at that.

ANNE SHIRLEY ! she is one of the OG feminists, pushing her way into places that were usually meant for boys. (one of my favorite quotes - "Why can't women be ministers, Marilla? … I think women would make splendid ministers." anne HOLDS HER OWN and doesn't take crap from anyone. she's ambitious and girlfriend speaks her mind. 

JO MARCH - okay tbh i am STILL MAD that she didn't marry laurie. but that's a lot of her appeal - she recognized that laurie, and a life with him, wasn't truly what she wanted - even if it would have been comfortable. she's independent and creative and strong and she has her sister's backs! to me, jo embodies this idea that you DON'T have to dedicate your life to getting people to like you. (which is something that, as a gender, i think we could use more of!)

HERMIONE GRANGER - because where would i be without hermione granger?! obviously, she is incredibly smart and is always picking up the slack for ron and harry. but i love that she's never AFRAID to be smart. i love that she creates the SPEW to help give house elves rights, i love that she doesn't let herself be bossed or pushed around, i love that she's not afraid to cry or be saved by someone else. she is really the ultimate balance of imperfection but strength, femininity but toughness. and how good is this photo though:

all in all, i am incredibly grateful for all of the strong women influences in my life (real or fictional!) i am so inspired when we band together as girls and support each other in being whatever we want to be. 

March 6, 2017

sf lately: february.

for christmas, i bought my friend marissa a bus tour - we had been talking about how fun it would be for months but it never quite materialized. (pro tip: get your friends an "experience" for christmas - you have to get yourself a ticket too obviously, so bonus! you get to give a gift and get a gift without looking ultra selfish!) our husbands rolled their eyes, but GUYS IT WAS SO FUN. we went on a sunny morning, found parking right in front of the bus stop, and were one of 6 people on the tour. you get an unbeatable view of the city from up there and we had the tour guide practically to ourselves. we even whipped out my selfie stick because #noshame. it was the best morning.

the city came alive for chinese new year! we missed a lot of the celebration because we had guests in town that weekend, but i loved the display at the mall downtown. 

we met some friends at the point bonita lighthouse on a whim one weekend. you walk through a tunnel and across a rickety bridge to get to the lighthouse, so it's only open for 8 hours a week. it was so charmingly nautical. i'll say it a million times - i love having such a variety of things to do so close!

we took pregnancy announcement photos for some good friends one sunday evening and i made them snap one of us before we took off :) and just in case that was unclear, we are not pregnant. just the friends, haha!

in the city of a thousand views, i think we found our new favorite! from grand view park you have a vantage point to see every part of the city - we could spot downtown, you can see the entirety of the park, and you can see all the way from the bay to the ocean. i can't wait to take visitors!

abc has a partnership with the exploratorium, an interactive museum about all different aspects of the human experience, so we get in for free! we went with our neighbors - i wasn't expecting much so i was blown away at how fun it was for adults. we spent several hours there and didn't even finish one of seven wings of the museum! (this photo is from a camera that takes an extended photo of your movement for a few seconds.)

beautiful sunsets from the deck off of our bedroom. (downtown is glowing in this one!)

one of the perks (okay, maybe the only perk) of crazy early mornings at abc is watching the sunrise over the bay bridge. check out this #nofilter morning!

i have been using bumble and bumble's "don't blow it" spray and letting my hair air dry for the past ten days. i'm digging the "undone" look and it literally takes ZERO MINUTES. (i have just been putting some dry shampoo in the roots and oil in the ends before i go to sleep.) i am so excited about this and have been sharing it with everyone !!

i drug a friend with me to saturday morning kickboxing at alta plaza park! she loved it and it made the workout all the more fun. exercising outdoors (& in the coolest park with a sweet view, no less) is the best!

loving ALL of the colorful bushes.

it was still pretty gloomy for a good portion of february, and although i am so sick of the rain i could throw up all over this stupid microclimate weather, it was pretty cozy this day. this is the lake in golden gate park near our apartment, and i thought this scene was pretty eery-cool.

and a snapshot of russian hill: